another day of fighting with a woman who will never love me.
some people are too stupid to get it.
"Timmy, tah, tah...."
I dont get it.
She mentions that it upsets her that I intended to see others. But she refused to think about a monogomous relationship (let alone intimate) with me.
how can i be anything but stupid?
"wear the grudge like a...
Read More
some people are too stupid to get it.
"Timmy, tah, tah...."
I dont get it.
She mentions that it upsets her that I intended to see others. But she refused to think about a monogomous relationship (let alone intimate) with me.
how can i be anything but stupid?
"wear the grudge like a...
Read More
I feel totally strung.
I cannot sleep.
Demons from last night seem to plague me still.
dont do H.
I really wish i wasnt here alone.
Any sort of resilliance or strength has drained from me in the past few hours.
...I dont really even know why.
I miss Inez...
I cannot sleep.
Demons from last night seem to plague me still.
dont do H.
I really wish i wasnt here alone.
Any sort of resilliance or strength has drained from me in the past few hours.
...I dont really even know why.
I miss Inez...
saturn1:
i hope we can catch up soon. i have no idea how i found you here but i'm glad i did.
i dont feel so well, whatever we took last night.. was not what we were sold.
what a pathetic experience.
today, i feel drained.
what a pathetic experience.
today, i feel drained.
<a href="http://honestreporting.com">Honest Reporting</a>
I cannot find sleep, or it cannot find me.
either way. Im not resting.
I took a line earlier, maybe that is it.
Doubtful, Ive done it before, and I have never been anxious like this.
I was fine, then my head hit the pillow. Instantly, a flood of horrified emotions hit me, and clips from the hellified nightmares of last evening....
Read More
I cannot find sleep, or it cannot find me.
either way. Im not resting.
I took a line earlier, maybe that is it.
Doubtful, Ive done it before, and I have never been anxious like this.
I was fine, then my head hit the pillow. Instantly, a flood of horrified emotions hit me, and clips from the hellified nightmares of last evening....
Read More
saturn1:
i wish nothing mattered except what i experienced in the present ... i think it's apparent that more than the present matters or demons from the past would not exist.
perhaps we let them haunt us? because unrequited love fucks me in the head everyday, but enduring daily rape is barely a memory anymore.
i don't know. i can't sleep either. you'll probably never see this.
perhaps we let them haunt us? because unrequited love fucks me in the head everyday, but enduring daily rape is barely a memory anymore.
i don't know. i can't sleep either. you'll probably never see this.
saturn1:
i'm closing my account, who knows when that'll happen, but i hope you still write here as long as you have an account? i know you don't come here much but i rather like to read your thoughts from time to time. i will as long as they are offered, dear boy.
the dragon.
i haven't felt so warm or comfortable or complete in years.
now, i should keep my distance.
i haven't felt so warm or comfortable or complete in years.
now, i should keep my distance.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
saturn1:
i learn new things everyday. i think my brain hurts. no, it does.
saturn1:
i feel like a heresy created by whores & men. perhaps the whores & men thing is cliche & wrong, but i'm definitely a heresy of some sort.
i'm so tired. just. want. to. sleep. maybe i got stuck at work so i'd go home tired.
i like replying to you here, it feels like no one reads it, even you & i still put it out there. like killing one bird with one effective stone.
i'm so tired. just. want. to. sleep. maybe i got stuck at work so i'd go home tired.
i like replying to you here, it feels like no one reads it, even you & i still put it out there. like killing one bird with one effective stone.
please breathe new life into me.
i have never felt so fucking worn.
i have never felt so fucking worn.
saturn1:
& i adore your patience. there, we're even.
The Body, sensitive
twists itself, tormented
around the intruder
A delerious kaliedescope bent,
immunoreactivity is only a foul dream.
Permanent wrongs
seal themselves into perfect wombs.
A desperately hoped for past
esacapes with the thrust
of this most terrible lesson.
twists itself, tormented
around the intruder
A delerious kaliedescope bent,
immunoreactivity is only a foul dream.
Permanent wrongs
seal themselves into perfect wombs.
A desperately hoped for past
esacapes with the thrust
of this most terrible lesson.
what it feels like to be devoid of any ambition or motivation of any kind.
the evil side of barbs.
the evil side of barbs.
saturn1:
what does it feel like?
she frustrates me beyond belief. Im trying to be civil, and get to the bottom of whatever her true feelings are. I am patient, and i am trying to be a bigger person than just throwing her sorry ass away.
But she minimizes every move i make, and trivializes every single thought i share with her.
She nearly validates my self-deprecation.
But she minimizes every move i make, and trivializes every single thought i share with her.
She nearly validates my self-deprecation.
saturn1:
i wish i could make it better. & put you in a glass box where dust doesn't settle. i couldn't give you an unbiased opinion so i'll shut up now. and go back to painting my nails on gov't time.
Tool was in detroit last night.
The energy of the show was strange.. i felt completely disengaged nearly the entire time.
Maynard was in better spirits than most shows ive seen, he actually gave the crowd the respect of facing toward them, and he danced like i haven't seen in ages.
The energy of the show was strange.. i felt completely disengaged nearly the entire time.
Maynard was in better spirits than most shows ive seen, he actually gave the crowd the respect of facing toward them, and he danced like i haven't seen in ages.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
apathy_activist:
Hmm.. I wouldn't say pissy, but totally distant.
There was little interaction. The only thing was a little joke about Mike & Jim from Tomahawk who helped out with Disposition/Reflection.
I've seen him get right the hell into it before and I've seen shows like Sunday's. They're both good, just different kinds of Tool shows.
There was little interaction. The only thing was a little joke about Mike & Jim from Tomahawk who helped out with Disposition/Reflection.
I've seen him get right the hell into it before and I've seen shows like Sunday's. They're both good, just different kinds of Tool shows.
saturn1:
i like the picture. i sort of miss the very first one you had.
kick her to the curb, girls get to be too much trouble... theres always the band... of the hand!!
advice from the infamous JAY....