vassago

I am angry, and I am tired.
I am so sick of being forced to let her make me feel this way.

You know that hopeless, terrifying, eternal feeling that nightmares have?
This is exactly that.
Every night since some time in December.

Why am I only worth a few lines on an index card?
Why am I not allowed to fix any of this?...
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I tried to go out tonight.
It didnt work very well.

The banality of small conversation made me want to stab a drunk or myself, or something.

I wish I could be understood.
One person.

I hate myself. The end.

I had a terrible fever last night, and into much of today.
I had to call in to work.

Pittsburgh was fun. Starli and I had a great time.
I met Jason (belmondo).
I understand her attraction.

I have learned that Andrea is a goddamned retard.

I am so tired of small people. Someone come steal me and take me somewhere....

I wish I were...
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Someone said the same thing to me,
a myth about damnation,
or kisses,
or chocolate.

I shouldn't continue here,
I am afraid that I am lost.

I feel like hell.
Sunday was hardly describable.
What can I say, I am one of those people that tries to make life worthwhile, and is so full of self-hatred, that I am willing to pursue any ends, even death. I am so sorry to you all, Audra, Andy, Ryan, Brandie. I never meant to ruin your day and make you watch me OD.

You...
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Without You

I am the swimming confusion
of an empty needle,
the beauty of an eternal thought

I kiss your every memory,
becasue they are my Gods.

It has been awhile since I have posted on here.

My focus is still Dmt synthesis, with a focus on a smokeable freebase.
Later tonight, Ill be adding some new pics to my site.

One of my hideous secrets... I watch "The N".
It is the only channel that plays Daria.

I am considering an isolation of the primary alkaloids present in Atropa Belladonna. Namely, those are Hycosamine and Atropine. Blindness might be a small price to pay for the realization of the planet's strongest entheogen.

I remember a time when we stayed in your parents' bed. You could'nt...
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Lost Cause
By Beck


Your sorry eyes cut through the bone
They make it hard to leave you alone
Leave you here wearing your wounds
Waving your guns at somebody new

Baby you're lost
Baby you're lost
Baby you're a lost cause

There's too many people you used to know
They see you coming they see you go
They know your secrets and you know...
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Ive been busy working on several "chemistry" projects simultaneously. Including DmT synthesis and primary alkaloid reduction from Hawaiian baby Woodrose (LsA).

I might be taking road trips for Valentine's day and Mardis Gras. Those should be good times, I hope.


Over the past month, I have "lost" several of the closest people in my life. All of them over cruelties and misunderstandings. I understand where...
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