well, Morg's on some mission to fuck my ass double-time, I guess. She's been hard at work talking mad shit about to my own associates, who, it seems, are buying her stories.
Fucked up, considering that I am the one that introduced her to virtualy all of them.
I can't stand this shit. I give in.
Morgan, you are right; I am an infant. I...
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Fucked up, considering that I am the one that introduced her to virtualy all of them.
I can't stand this shit. I give in.
Morgan, you are right; I am an infant. I...
Read More
just tonight, just once, life should be like a movie for me..
I could be here, lying on my bed sobbing, or curled up naked on the floor of my shower.. and YOU come to the condo door.. you knock.
I answer, all ugly and awkward looking. and without regard for cuts or my nasty form or for the tears, you throw yourself around me....
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I could be here, lying on my bed sobbing, or curled up naked on the floor of my shower.. and YOU come to the condo door.. you knock.
I answer, all ugly and awkward looking. and without regard for cuts or my nasty form or for the tears, you throw yourself around me....
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saturn1:
you can call me you know... i would but i feel that i've tried too long without any reciprocation. i'm tired and hurt by it and i deserve better than that. so it's all on you ... if you want to call i'd be more than happy to talk.
"Hurt" whispered the Universe.
And so, the little thing fell in pain. wrapt' in rejection, longing, isolation and torment.
Of the Universe, the Thing asked; "Why am I alone, among so many wicked movements?"
Again, and in response, the Universe whispered "hurt", and the tiny Thing wrenched with sadness, bleeding, regret, and hopelessness.
The Universe curled over the Thing, and gently kissed it, saying; "The...
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And so, the little thing fell in pain. wrapt' in rejection, longing, isolation and torment.
Of the Universe, the Thing asked; "Why am I alone, among so many wicked movements?"
Again, and in response, the Universe whispered "hurt", and the tiny Thing wrenched with sadness, bleeding, regret, and hopelessness.
The Universe curled over the Thing, and gently kissed it, saying; "The...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
kira:
why do you say that...i wouldn't call if i didn't care...i'm sorry about you and morgan and you know that i have just been busy lately and haven't had a chance to call...i'll try and call you later after i get out of work... 
mistressmissy:
well im sorry to hear about the clutter in your life sweetie. i hope it will clear soon.
im alright i guess other than working with people that dont like me, having to see my ex make out with some fat cunt i hate, having friends die on me. but thats kinda just life ya know?
i hope you feel better *hugs*
im alright i guess other than working with people that dont like me, having to see my ex make out with some fat cunt i hate, having friends die on me. but thats kinda just life ya know?
i hope you feel better *hugs*
i miss you, as a soldier does his bethrothed when away at war.
you dont understand.
I told you i love you.
you said nothing.
you dont understand.
I told you i love you.
you said nothing.
mistressmissy:
how are you doing sweetie?
lv:
:\
I don't know you, nor do you know me, but...just happened to be clicking around SG, thought you looked downright intriguing...read a few posts and...just wanted to say I hope things are going better and looking up. Yeah yeah, cheesy, but...seriously, I kinda felt saddened by your post.
Wish I could help. *hug*
I don't know you, nor do you know me, but...just happened to be clicking around SG, thought you looked downright intriguing...read a few posts and...just wanted to say I hope things are going better and looking up. Yeah yeah, cheesy, but...seriously, I kinda felt saddened by your post.
Wish I could help. *hug*
Morgan has spent the last year doing anything she could to create a permanent, monogomous relationship with me.
Ive resisted, for a thousand reasons... my sickness, my depression, my longing for another.
But, not so recently she convinced me to give it a bit of a whirl, or whatever.
She was free to run all over town, letting all the scenesters know I was her...
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Ive resisted, for a thousand reasons... my sickness, my depression, my longing for another.
But, not so recently she convinced me to give it a bit of a whirl, or whatever.
She was free to run all over town, letting all the scenesters know I was her...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
cutthekidinhalf:
oh wow,, YOu really don't deserve this BS....
saturn1:
well, i tried to be a friend and understand but it never felt appreciated. you , as all people do, create your life. it's all your choice.
I've decided to just do this thing.
Slowly at first... lower the methadone.
The methadone makes me into someone that I am not. Someone that I hate. Someone that you all hate.
It destroys me... so I have declared war. Please, think of it as me being away at war... slowly ridding myself of this hideous toxin.
When I am free, I will come find...
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Slowly at first... lower the methadone.
The methadone makes me into someone that I am not. Someone that I hate. Someone that you all hate.
It destroys me... so I have declared war. Please, think of it as me being away at war... slowly ridding myself of this hideous toxin.
When I am free, I will come find...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
tatum:
*hugs* I'm really glad to hear that you're doing better!
adeline:
Are you at war by yourself or do you have fellow soldiers that are helping you? Whatever the case I really hope that you get through this battle and come out so much stronger...and happier.
I can't get my head straigt.
Things here are bad, really bad.
Maybe it is the revenge of materialism, Im not sure.
First, my 20gb Mp3 player exploded (literallly, it exploded) when i plugged in the power adapter to my car. You see, it was an after market adapter, and it had been accidentally set a few volts too high...
200 dollars destryoed.
Then, On...
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Things here are bad, really bad.
Maybe it is the revenge of materialism, Im not sure.
First, my 20gb Mp3 player exploded (literallly, it exploded) when i plugged in the power adapter to my car. You see, it was an after market adapter, and it had been accidentally set a few volts too high...
200 dollars destryoed.
Then, On...
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VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
vassago:
(X-post, sort of...)
Yeah. Avalon is as correct as it gets. I know for sure that a lesson is sitting over me... not only that but a bigger reason for last weekend, too.
Unfortunately, I did go get some shit that night. It was self hatred and defeat hard at work.
Since then, Ive tried to "step back" as you would say..
Seeing a mess for what it is can be horrifying, right down to your silly little nightmares.
The accident was bigger than a car crash. It was a symbol, it was my life in nutshell. The way out of this is way, way too big....
...ever climbed over Everest?
Yeah. Avalon is as correct as it gets. I know for sure that a lesson is sitting over me... not only that but a bigger reason for last weekend, too.
Unfortunately, I did go get some shit that night. It was self hatred and defeat hard at work.
Since then, Ive tried to "step back" as you would say..
Seeing a mess for what it is can be horrifying, right down to your silly little nightmares.
The accident was bigger than a car crash. It was a symbol, it was my life in nutshell. The way out of this is way, way too big....
...ever climbed over Everest?
adeline:
I've climbed over Everest a few times, I fell on the way up though more then once..however each time I had to start over I took a little more of what I've experienced and learned with me on the way up..then, once you get on top you can see everything so much clearer and you can also help the rest trying to still climb up to the top. I'm just waiting to fall again though cause thats the ironic beauty of life..I'll save a place for you at the top.
[Edited on Feb 20, 2004 1:53AM]
[Edited on Feb 20, 2004 1:53AM]
"Saturn's" birthday today.
my love is 27.. she thinks she is old..
Id like to see her.
Things used to be really good with all of my friends. I didn't know that at the time... I miss Kat, Starli, Heather, Rick, the Clan..
Losing my friends has crushed me, and it makes me feel old.
I wish I could do something to get back there......
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my love is 27.. she thinks she is old..
Id like to see her.
Things used to be really good with all of my friends. I didn't know that at the time... I miss Kat, Starli, Heather, Rick, the Clan..
Losing my friends has crushed me, and it makes me feel old.
I wish I could do something to get back there......
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
mistressmissy:
*gasp* twoII is on your friends list? dont tell me he got to meet you and i didnt!!! *pout pout pout*
i wish i couldve gone with everyone to detroit...but alas im poor.
i wish i couldve gone with everyone to detroit...but alas im poor.
adeline:
It was great meeting you!!
I completely understand the whole losing touch with your friends comment..it's usually my fault though cause I drift away from them..for a new taste in my mouth cause it all gets stale so quickly for me..I'm a junkie for life.
I completely understand the whole losing touch with your friends comment..it's usually my fault though cause I drift away from them..for a new taste in my mouth cause it all gets stale so quickly for me..I'm a junkie for life.
"... I choose to live."
I wish for all of you, a better solar revolution this time around.
No more 2003's, ok?
ok. tonight.
Tonight was a glaring dissapointment.
Several (seven or so) of 'us' gathered at my loft to group up and make plans for the evening.
It was decided, Panacea, and then The Studio.
Panacea was a 15$ hell. Booty music for five...
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I wish for all of you, a better solar revolution this time around.
No more 2003's, ok?
ok. tonight.
Tonight was a glaring dissapointment.
Several (seven or so) of 'us' gathered at my loft to group up and make plans for the evening.
It was decided, Panacea, and then The Studio.
Panacea was a 15$ hell. Booty music for five...
Read More
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
caffeineheadache:
ok ok.....as long as I have common ground with someone somewhere.
isthatallthereis:
I fucking love you because you have Freddie Got Fingered as one of you favorite movies...that's great!!!!!!!!!!
went to CC tonight.
It fucking sucked.
I am less like anyone else by the passing day...
them: drink, snort, drink, vomit, screw, vomit, sleep...
me: think, cry, starve, sleep.
nothing reaches me anymore.. noone at all. It's like i am floating in space, a creature of my own right.
I can't help it. I have become what I have become. The funny result of...
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It fucking sucked.
I am less like anyone else by the passing day...
them: drink, snort, drink, vomit, screw, vomit, sleep...
me: think, cry, starve, sleep.
nothing reaches me anymore.. noone at all. It's like i am floating in space, a creature of my own right.
I can't help it. I have become what I have become. The funny result of...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
mykra:
Them: Dumbasses who will end up slaves to an evil conglomarate whore.
You: Interesting.
Happy Hide-from-those-that-blood-bonds-me-to-day.
Swoo
You: Interesting.
Happy Hide-from-those-that-blood-bonds-me-to-day.
Swoo
cutthekidinhalf:
Merry christman and happy new year,,
Perhaps you can smile for me~~?
-r
Perhaps you can smile for me~~?
-r