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vanuslux

Atlanta, GA

Member Since 2004

Followers 44 Following 48

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Sunday Aug 28, 2005

Aug 27, 2005
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Satisfactory Saturday

I'm pretty well buzzed. I've been drinking pretty steadily for the past six hours. I took a break to be intimate with Wyspurr and wash up afterwards, but otherwise I've not stopped. It was a great Saturday. I'm feeling utterly fantastic.

Wyspurr let me sleep in, so as soon as I woke up I was up and eager to hit the road towards holierthancow and Shannon's house. Saturday afternoons are for Dungeons & Dragons with Wyspurr, whorlwind, holierthancow, and Shannon. Though I wasn't feeling great and my body wanted to stay in bed, it takes a lot to keep me away from an opportunity to throw dice and play a glorified game of make believe with my friends.

A break from my account of the day. Wyspurr just stirred from her slumber, told me she loves me, then fell back asleep. I love her too. For all the rough spots we've been through in the nearly eight years we've been together she's still one of the best things that ever happened to me. Second, perhaps, only to my relationship with Neva. If not for Neva I probably wouldn't have the capacity to love women anymore after what the lovers after her and before Wyspurr did to me. Neva showed me women can truly be awesome and without my first relationship instilling that in me I'd not have been emotionally equipped open my heart to anyone after getting it crushed so much.

Anyway, the gaming session went very well. At least from a DM perspective. I had fun anyway. Unfortunately the session proved fatal for Shannon's PC who was literally cleaved in half from an astonishing critical hit by an ogre wielding a greataxe. It was a glorious death scene, though, and she took it in stride. It's good to be gaming again. It was the one thing I've missed since moving to Atlanta and now I don't have to miss it.

During the game, I recieved two phone calls. The first was from Brenda. I was really happy to hear from her. I love that girl. It's frustrating being so far away from her but it's been well worth it. Just hearing her voice, remembering the way she feels in my arms. It leaves me with a aching longing, but in a good way because I know that she'll be in my arms again. It's crazy to think that she's only four days from getting on a bus to come see Wyspurr and I again for the awesome weekend of Dragon*Con. I wish I could have talked to her more, but I was in the middle of the game and I didn't want to be inconsiderate of the others just because I'm smitten with her.

The other call was Little Kendra, who was calling to let me know she was in Atlanta with Brett and Adam and wanted to hang out. I told her I'd call her back after the game so that we could hook up. So, after the game was over and we'd finished eating the yummy burritos that Shannon had made, that's what I did. Little Kendra and her entourage ended up coming over to Wyspurr and I's place. whorlwind came over too. We drank and watch the video footage of the Atlanta Rollergirls bout last weekend, which was cool. I showed Little Kendra pics from the party we threw for Brenda. We had a pretty nice time. When it came time for her and the boys to go, she gave me a really long, intense hug and asked me what I was doing Sunday (today). I told her nothing and said I'd give her a call tomorrow. She said she'd call me if I didn't call her. I could see the wheels in her head turning, wanting to come back to see me and I hope that she does. Even as she was walking away from the apartment she kept casting long glances back at me. I hope she comes back. I know she wants to.



I'm a bit conflicted about what to do in regards to Little Kendra. She and I were moving towards getting closer before Brenda entered my life. However, right now I really just want to focus on Wyspurr and Brenda as far as intimate relationships go. I don't even want to have sex with anyone else right now, not even Kendra, much less get emotionally involved. On the other hand, Brenda is 400 miles away and Wyspurr is pretty well wrapped up in getting closer to whorlwind so I'm kind of sitting here thinking to myself that maybe it would just be best for everyone if I put my energies elsewhere so that I can be less restrictive and demanding on Wyspurr and Brenda without feeling left out. I know if it weren't for Brenda I would be trying to develope something with Kendra anyway, and Brenda hasn't raised any objection to it despite my frequent expressions of concern over how she'd feel about it. I can't shake the feeling that it would bother her, regardless of what she says, and she is more important to me. I don't want to hurt her, even if I can justify it by pointing out that she said she'd be fine.

I think what it comes down to is that I really want a relationship with Little Kendra, as I have for years. On the other hand, though, I don't want to draw too much attention and energy away from my current relationships with Wyspurr and Brenda. I don't want to use Little Kendra as a distraction from the issues I'm having right now with Wyspurr being more involved with whorlwind right now than I really feel comfortable with (now she's tossing around the "love" word a lot and I'm pretty sure if I didn't poke her she wouldn't notice I'm in the room while he's here.) after only two weeks. I don't want to use Little Kendra as a way to distract myself from missing Brenda so much. Most of all, as much as I care for Kendra I really don't need more complications in my life right now.

Anyway, after Kendra and her boys left I shared some lovin' with [Member-Wyspurr] and took a bath as I mentioned earlier. Then I hung out with BigBlack81 a while and had some good conversation. In addition to the fact that he actually helps out around here, I've really enjoyed having BigBlack81 around for our occasional chats and such.

Anyway, that pretty much sums up Saturday for me. Now I'm off to bed to dream wild and kinky dreams of Wyspurr, Brenda, and I because that's just the kind of mood I'm in right now. Which reminds me...I need to check Wyspurr's trunk to see if my rope ended up in there.

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