My Hedonism Essay
While thinking about ways to go about forming my sensual hedonism group, I was thinking about how to handle an application process. Since this is going to be a closed group with a limited number of members, I have to be really careful about how I handle the proccess. Anyway, I thought of one step in the application process that I think will trim away a lot of fat. A 500 word essay about what makes them a sensual hedonist and what they hope to get out of their experiences with the group. That will squish 90% of those with swinger type mentalities and expectations right there. On adult friend finder, only a tenth of the personals on there have more than a few sentences about who they are and what they're looking for so I doubt guys just looking to get laid would be able to write a remotely convincing 500 words about why they'd fit into a group where the purpose isn't to get laid. It also keeps away those that aren't particularly serious. Anyway, I tried writing my own to see how it came out, figuring I'd use it as an example for what I expect. This is what I came up with:
-----
Ever since puberty, Ive been an explorer of all things sensual. Initially I was merely obsessed with sex, but as I matured and finally found myself an ongoing sexual relationship I discovered that being intimate was even more wonderful than having an orgasm. Fucking is great, but whats really wonderful are lingering kisses, soft touching, the sharing of body heat, the tickling of a lovers hair upon my face as she leans down when touch her lips to mine, soft moans and sighs of pleasure, the laughter than follows leaning into each other at the same time and smacking foreheads together. I love the letting down of walls, the closeness that can be achieved with someone when you're naked near them that can be so much harder to reach when clothed. As someone who is extremely shy and experiences a great deal of social anxiety, it's great to be in that special place where I can be completely open with someone without feeling nervous or terribly awkward. Without the barriers created by physical tensions it becomes much easier to connect to others on a spiritual and emotional level. Also, its just a lot of fun to get naked with people.
The reason Im creating a hedonists club is because I believe that such experiences shouldnt be rare, isolated events. I think there are a lot of people who would love to explore and connect to others in an open, intimate way without the pressures of expectations. While I appreciate the BDSM community and the way it promotes a certain kind of sensually hedonistic experience, I feel that most play gatherings of that community tend to be kind of like a grim circus of voyeurs and performers. I love most BDSM activities, and there are some really great people in the community, but I dont feel it really offers the experiences or the openness Im looking for. Dont even get me started on the swinging community and the heavy handed expectations and over eagerness for sex that saturate that mostly Republican scene. Then on the opposite side theres the polyamory community, which often scoffs at those who use physical contact to open pathways to other kinds of connections.
It is my desire to sow the seeds of a community that brings people together to share intimate experiences that are both sensual and fun in an environment that is friendly and unassuming. An environment where guys dont have to be aggressive and macho to get affection, and where girls can find physical intimacy without any pressure to go further than they want to go. I know a lot of girls would love to be able to cuddle and make out with guys with the understanding that it doesnt mean shes going to have sex with him. More importantly than that, though, is the sense of communion in sharing things as a group and friendships and relationships can be formed in a setting which alleviates a lot of the competitiveness and territorial pissing.
-----
So...what do you think? Does it say enough about myself, my views, and my intentions? I'm seriously looking for feedback on this.
While thinking about ways to go about forming my sensual hedonism group, I was thinking about how to handle an application process. Since this is going to be a closed group with a limited number of members, I have to be really careful about how I handle the proccess. Anyway, I thought of one step in the application process that I think will trim away a lot of fat. A 500 word essay about what makes them a sensual hedonist and what they hope to get out of their experiences with the group. That will squish 90% of those with swinger type mentalities and expectations right there. On adult friend finder, only a tenth of the personals on there have more than a few sentences about who they are and what they're looking for so I doubt guys just looking to get laid would be able to write a remotely convincing 500 words about why they'd fit into a group where the purpose isn't to get laid. It also keeps away those that aren't particularly serious. Anyway, I tried writing my own to see how it came out, figuring I'd use it as an example for what I expect. This is what I came up with:
-----
Ever since puberty, Ive been an explorer of all things sensual. Initially I was merely obsessed with sex, but as I matured and finally found myself an ongoing sexual relationship I discovered that being intimate was even more wonderful than having an orgasm. Fucking is great, but whats really wonderful are lingering kisses, soft touching, the sharing of body heat, the tickling of a lovers hair upon my face as she leans down when touch her lips to mine, soft moans and sighs of pleasure, the laughter than follows leaning into each other at the same time and smacking foreheads together. I love the letting down of walls, the closeness that can be achieved with someone when you're naked near them that can be so much harder to reach when clothed. As someone who is extremely shy and experiences a great deal of social anxiety, it's great to be in that special place where I can be completely open with someone without feeling nervous or terribly awkward. Without the barriers created by physical tensions it becomes much easier to connect to others on a spiritual and emotional level. Also, its just a lot of fun to get naked with people.
The reason Im creating a hedonists club is because I believe that such experiences shouldnt be rare, isolated events. I think there are a lot of people who would love to explore and connect to others in an open, intimate way without the pressures of expectations. While I appreciate the BDSM community and the way it promotes a certain kind of sensually hedonistic experience, I feel that most play gatherings of that community tend to be kind of like a grim circus of voyeurs and performers. I love most BDSM activities, and there are some really great people in the community, but I dont feel it really offers the experiences or the openness Im looking for. Dont even get me started on the swinging community and the heavy handed expectations and over eagerness for sex that saturate that mostly Republican scene. Then on the opposite side theres the polyamory community, which often scoffs at those who use physical contact to open pathways to other kinds of connections.
It is my desire to sow the seeds of a community that brings people together to share intimate experiences that are both sensual and fun in an environment that is friendly and unassuming. An environment where guys dont have to be aggressive and macho to get affection, and where girls can find physical intimacy without any pressure to go further than they want to go. I know a lot of girls would love to be able to cuddle and make out with guys with the understanding that it doesnt mean shes going to have sex with him. More importantly than that, though, is the sense of communion in sharing things as a group and friendships and relationships can be formed in a setting which alleviates a lot of the competitiveness and territorial pissing.
-----
So...what do you think? Does it say enough about myself, my views, and my intentions? I'm seriously looking for feedback on this.
stuzzy:
I think it does a good job of explaining what you are going for. It seems there should be some ground rules though, but I'm sure you have that in mind. You're party didn't offend me by the way. I had been at a wedding and reception most of theday with old friends and by the time I showed at your place I was winding down my partying for the day, so I just made an appearance.