Dark Horse Training, Tenth Night
I found out today that I have two more days left of training, then I'm flying solo. I'm not ready. I've had ten days of training and tonight was the first time I got to really do anything on the grill. Hopefully the next two days I work will be enough to get me ready for holding down closing on my own for the first time. I'm really nervous about it, but I think I can handle it as long as things don't get too slammed my first couple of days flying solo.
One nice thing about this coming week's schedule is that I'll only be working four days, having gotten the Thursday and Friday off that I requested. That means I'll be able to catch Dylan's new band playing at the Nonpoint show Thursday and I'll be able to go to the Deicide show Friday if I choose to. Dark Dan told me how to get back stage at the Deicide show, but I'm not sure I'd want to. I'm not even a big Deicide fan so chances are I'd either blow trying to get back there in the first place, and if I succeeded I'd feel completely out of place. Dan has connections to these people. The only connection I have to them is Dan, who I really only barely know.
I honestly don't know how much longer I'll last at this job. If Wyspurr gets the job she's going for, I'll have to quit because there's no way we can afford reliable, trustworthy late night childcare and no one has shown any interest in fulfilling the position of concubine. Even if that doesn't happen, everyone in my family is miserable with the changes my working at Dark Horse has brought about. Friday night I very nearly walked out on Wyspurr and the kids, having completely snapped like I haven't done in years. This is honestly the most stressed out and dissatisfied I can remember being. It has gotten to the point that most of the time I don't even want to be at home because it's become such an unhappy place. I've only plowed ahead this far because I do like the job itself and I've hoped that things would level out. It doesn't seem to be working.
I found out today that I have two more days left of training, then I'm flying solo. I'm not ready. I've had ten days of training and tonight was the first time I got to really do anything on the grill. Hopefully the next two days I work will be enough to get me ready for holding down closing on my own for the first time. I'm really nervous about it, but I think I can handle it as long as things don't get too slammed my first couple of days flying solo.
One nice thing about this coming week's schedule is that I'll only be working four days, having gotten the Thursday and Friday off that I requested. That means I'll be able to catch Dylan's new band playing at the Nonpoint show Thursday and I'll be able to go to the Deicide show Friday if I choose to. Dark Dan told me how to get back stage at the Deicide show, but I'm not sure I'd want to. I'm not even a big Deicide fan so chances are I'd either blow trying to get back there in the first place, and if I succeeded I'd feel completely out of place. Dan has connections to these people. The only connection I have to them is Dan, who I really only barely know.
I honestly don't know how much longer I'll last at this job. If Wyspurr gets the job she's going for, I'll have to quit because there's no way we can afford reliable, trustworthy late night childcare and no one has shown any interest in fulfilling the position of concubine. Even if that doesn't happen, everyone in my family is miserable with the changes my working at Dark Horse has brought about. Friday night I very nearly walked out on Wyspurr and the kids, having completely snapped like I haven't done in years. This is honestly the most stressed out and dissatisfied I can remember being. It has gotten to the point that most of the time I don't even want to be at home because it's become such an unhappy place. I've only plowed ahead this far because I do like the job itself and I've hoped that things would level out. It doesn't seem to be working.
theocean______:
'tis rough, dude. these are major life changes. these things will cause some serious strife, undoubtedly. just hang on, and try not to melt down... i imagine everything will fall into place eventually.