vanuslux

"All my life they said I was going down,
But I'm still standing, stronger, proud.
And today I know there's so much more I can be."
- Queensryche "Someone Else"

All Around

I'm starting to get back into my groove. I've shaken off a lot of the irrational anxiety that's been weighing me down. I've taken a long hard look at where I really am in life right now and where I'm going and have come to the conclusion that I'm doing pretty good. I've been kicking myself over the little imperfections and making myself quite sore. I'm starting to lighten up and just roll with the fact that I'm still going to stumble from time to time and that doesn't mean that I've failed. All that beating myself up over the minutia has accomplished is keeping me down and disheartened.

I've been back on my diet since Sunday and it's going smoothly. I need to get a bit more exercise, though, if it's going to be as effective at getting me to where I want to be by March 17th. My main goal is to look good naked by the time Fantasm rolls around, as Wyspurr and I are aiming to be at our slutty bests for what will probably be our only chance to cavort with a large number of people as debaucherous as us in this uptight town. Not that I'm horribly unhappy with my body right now...I've lost a lot of weight since moving to Atlanta already, but I still see room for improvement. Besides, paying attention to what I put into my body makes me feel healthier and more energetic all around.

On a less positive note, the plumbing situation may not be as resolved as I'd hoped. When the maintanence man came in to do measurements before building us a new kitchen counter we noticed that there was fresh water around the area the plumbers had been working. It wasn't nearly as much as had been appearing before, but it was noticable and so now we have to get the plumber back in to figure out what that's all about before we can have a kitchen again. I am not pleased with this development.

Back on the positive side of life, Chris C. has gotten our W2s from the jobs Wyspurr and I had before moving to Atlanta. He's going to mail them off to us so we can file our taxes as soon as possible. That is good news indeed.

The SGATLiens Chinese New Year party is just around the corner. I'm really looking forward to it now. I'm pretty much over my bitterness over what happened at the holiday party. I've gotten it off my chest and now life can go on. I just hate that geckogirl isn't going to be there, what with her jetsetting off to Los Angeles, but most of the other people I'd want to see there are going to be there as far as I know. At the holiday party I kind of fluttered from one person to the next, skimming the crowd the way one would flip through a book, trying to get aquainted with as many people as possible. This time I'll probably try mingling less and try to get a little more beyond the surface with those that I do find interesting. Also this time I'll regularly check the lens of my camera to make sure there's no goop fucking up my shots like there was last time. I'm still sore at so many great shots being ruined at the holiday party because something smeared on my lens and I didn't notice it for half the night.

Speaking of pictures, I don't think there's any greater indicator that there was something out of sorts with me in January than the fact that I only took a meager handful of pictures all month. Normally I have hundreds of pictures...even if only of my family.

Hopefully I'll be able to do some photography practice sessions this month. I have a couple of interested people on the wing, but I've been hurting for location since it's been too cold for outdoor shooting and there would be too much distraction in my apartment, what with the wee ones running around. I'm reluctant to rent a space, though, as I'm a poor bastard and what money I have to spare for such non-profit endeavors I'd rather give to the models. We'll just have to see what I can come up with.