"You live for times of solace
Within a sign there's a promise,
Don't lose all faith cause you shake at night
It's in the art of the process."
- Paradise Lost "Mercy"
Just A Memory That We've Become
Twice today I've seen Kaytlynn's alias on my instant messengers and both times I've messaged her. The first time it was her sister. The second time it was her brother. Last night, I saw her on but it was really her sister. This is aggravating to me, as I've not spoken to Kaytlynn, nor even heard from her in an age and a half. Not that it's unusual for her to drop off the face of the planet for months at a time without speaking to me, but it's annoying to get my hopes up just to find her siblings on the other end. It makes me want to stop trying, but I'm dreadfully bothered by the idea that one day it will actually be her on and I'll miss my once in a blue moon chance to talk to her.
Geez, I'm such a fucking sap. It's okay though. Sap was a really good Alice In Chains EP. I wish I still owned a copy.
holierthancow and I followed katfireblade to her place in Roswell that she wants he and my family to share with her and Sage. It is certainly an amazing house...the kind I always dream of living in...but the location couldn't suck much harder. I have no desire to live out of the perimeter. If I wanted to live in the middle of nowhere I certainly wouldn't have moved to Georgia...there is plenty of nowhere in North Carolina and that's where most of my friends are. Fortunately,
Wyspurr and holierthancow feel pretty much the same...so it's a unanimous decision for us to look for a place ITP, preferably in the same elementary school district so Destiny won't have to change schools.
The plumbers fixed the drainage leak in our kitchen today, so I didn't endure hours of jackhammer noise in my apartment for nothing. Best of all they didn't have to tear up anything but the kitchen. They'll be back tomorrow to lay new concrete and then the next day hopefully we'll get a new kitchen sink and counter.
As we get closer and closer to the weekend, I am looking forward to and dreading the SGATLien Chinese New Year party more and more. I have so many mixed feelings about it. It's encouraging, though, that I felt pretty much the exact same way about the meet up at Lenny's last Friday and that ended up being great. I just wish I could go into it with the unreserved enthusiasm I went to the holiday party with. Failing that, I wish I could define in some comprehensible way what the fuck my subconscious is apparantly so damned worried about. I hate feeling anxiety that I can't reason with.
Wyspurr is really getting into the roller derby thing. It warms my heart to see her so enthusiastic about something. She's going to kick ass, I know it. She's always great, but she's awesome when she's really passionate about something. She'd been losing a bit of enthusiasm of late, feeling a bit discouraged as I had been after weeks of being sick made us feel estranged from everything we'd been enjoying about living in the area. It's good to see her getting her old verve back.
Now if only I could do the same...I'm almost there, but for some reason I'm having trouble pulling myself completely over that wall. My anxieties have gotten a new foothold in my mind, leaving me nervous about extending myself. It's not overwhelmingly strong...more like an annoyance...but there and it distracts me when I'm trying to focus on what I want.
Within a sign there's a promise,
Don't lose all faith cause you shake at night
It's in the art of the process."
- Paradise Lost "Mercy"
Just A Memory That We've Become
Twice today I've seen Kaytlynn's alias on my instant messengers and both times I've messaged her. The first time it was her sister. The second time it was her brother. Last night, I saw her on but it was really her sister. This is aggravating to me, as I've not spoken to Kaytlynn, nor even heard from her in an age and a half. Not that it's unusual for her to drop off the face of the planet for months at a time without speaking to me, but it's annoying to get my hopes up just to find her siblings on the other end. It makes me want to stop trying, but I'm dreadfully bothered by the idea that one day it will actually be her on and I'll miss my once in a blue moon chance to talk to her.
Geez, I'm such a fucking sap. It's okay though. Sap was a really good Alice In Chains EP. I wish I still owned a copy.
holierthancow and I followed katfireblade to her place in Roswell that she wants he and my family to share with her and Sage. It is certainly an amazing house...the kind I always dream of living in...but the location couldn't suck much harder. I have no desire to live out of the perimeter. If I wanted to live in the middle of nowhere I certainly wouldn't have moved to Georgia...there is plenty of nowhere in North Carolina and that's where most of my friends are. Fortunately,
Wyspurr and holierthancow feel pretty much the same...so it's a unanimous decision for us to look for a place ITP, preferably in the same elementary school district so Destiny won't have to change schools.
The plumbers fixed the drainage leak in our kitchen today, so I didn't endure hours of jackhammer noise in my apartment for nothing. Best of all they didn't have to tear up anything but the kitchen. They'll be back tomorrow to lay new concrete and then the next day hopefully we'll get a new kitchen sink and counter.
As we get closer and closer to the weekend, I am looking forward to and dreading the SGATLien Chinese New Year party more and more. I have so many mixed feelings about it. It's encouraging, though, that I felt pretty much the exact same way about the meet up at Lenny's last Friday and that ended up being great. I just wish I could go into it with the unreserved enthusiasm I went to the holiday party with. Failing that, I wish I could define in some comprehensible way what the fuck my subconscious is apparantly so damned worried about. I hate feeling anxiety that I can't reason with.
Wyspurr is really getting into the roller derby thing. It warms my heart to see her so enthusiastic about something. She's going to kick ass, I know it. She's always great, but she's awesome when she's really passionate about something. She'd been losing a bit of enthusiasm of late, feeling a bit discouraged as I had been after weeks of being sick made us feel estranged from everything we'd been enjoying about living in the area. It's good to see her getting her old verve back.
Now if only I could do the same...I'm almost there, but for some reason I'm having trouble pulling myself completely over that wall. My anxieties have gotten a new foothold in my mind, leaving me nervous about extending myself. It's not overwhelmingly strong...more like an annoyance...but there and it distracts me when I'm trying to focus on what I want.
stuzzy:
about time those damn plumbers got there.