Sorry about doing 2 blogs in 1 specially since it might get long, but I think I really have something special to say about this 2 blogs. And because I adore my musical taste.
Also thanks for the awesome topics @lyxzen, @missy and @rambo as always!
About discrimination of any form... It's hard for me to talk about it because It's too damn personal. But I owe to myself and others to say it in a safe place.
It's very personal. I hope I feel better telling this.
My dad - who was never actually a dad to me, since I don't live with him since my 8 years old and I've spent 10 years without seeing - married a trans woman when I was 8/9 years old. That teach me a lot about discrimination and resilience. I discovered when a friend of mine came crying to me and said "your daddy is dating... a guy". And the 8 year old me said "so?".
That's basically who I am as a person. The "so" phrase shows a lot of who I learned to be. I don't care what people do. What they are. What they prefer. I am bisexual and If I wasn't wouldn't change much of my mind too. I never really cared if she was born " a boy" and then was a girl. She was an amazing person. She taught me A LOT. She was amazing to my father and to my family. That's really what matters. I am proud to say I get to know her so many years and was at her side the whole time, even when I didn't talked with him. Proud to say I made my grandma and grandpa accept her on the family. Proud to say I was by her side on her death bed.
Saying that, comes the other bad part. After this life, after have lived all this, today my daddy doesn't talk with me because I am a nude model. He called me a whore to my aunt (the people that I am most close on the whole world). Said that I am wasting my life. He totally forgot what is to be outcasted. He doesn't respect people anymore.
I pretend I am fine. I wake up everyday and just pretend is ok, life everything in my life was. But actually it isn't. I am sad. So sad.
It's sad to see that I work so hard and that I REALLY am capable of so much, I am so creative, I always go for what I want, I work my ass off everyday, without no easy time, to hear such a thing. Even If I indeed worked as a sex worker, he couldn't say shit. But I am not. I actually have giant problems with sex my whole life. And perhaps because of him.
Said so, another discrimination that I've suffered you all know, I was obese. Not chubby. Not a little fat. Obese. And for years I dealt with it and even today after losing all this weight I sometimes have huge problems with the mirror and how I perceive myself or how people treated me.
So discrimination is not a silly thing. It's not just words. It's not a little teasing. It's not "just a joke". Discrimination kills people. All day, all the time.
*sighs...* I am feeling a little bit better yes.
Now for the awesome musics of my life that gives me chills every time I hear them. I hope you like it :)
Without order :)
There is much more but then... everything from Manson, Massive Attack, Pink Floyd, Slipknot, Placebo, Misfits, Led Zeppelin :)
And the music of my WHOLE life:
and the awesome pictures were from last week in an amazing place full of mist!
