I was wandering on the Blog Homework section and the first one got stuck with me this time of the night (4 a.m. mind you :))
It's actually a pretty strong story i have but never thought much about it. Always thought too little about myself, especially because of it.
2 and a half years ago i've made a bariatric surgery - weight loss surgery - and part of my acceptance, my self esteem, my big "Fuck you" to people who shamed me, my much needed self love was my modifications (piercings, scars, tattoos, weird hair :P) and also working as an alternative model.
All that happened since i've done the surgery (and also mammoplasty as well as you guys can see in the pictures) was a HUGE fucking deal to me. I've made a tumblr discussion group about acceptance + weight loss surgery and how feminism helped me with all that (it's in portuguese, and the translation it's not accurate but the name is something like "butterfly your ass"), and how going into the surgery was the moment i decided 'i am done with my depression, i need to do something, anything, to me and to the people that really loves me and care for me'.
It wasn't just for health. I don't like being told that fat is bad for health cause is not, being judmental is :)
It was FOR ME.
Since i did the surgery, the tumblr, the work, the pictures, lots of girls/friends see my silly and happy pictures - with the scars, the tattoos and all - and say: "thanks for sharing it, thanks for showing me that i could love myself as i am, that anyone and everyone is beautiful in a lot of ways". I know i helped a LOT of girls.
Of course to me the journey to self love was loosing 145 pounds (yes, more than i have now), but could be just getting tattoos, dating a guy/girl i liked, gaining pounds, changing my hair color or posing naked :)
So... especially to me, becoming a Suicide/model is something that i see that may help other girls in that journey. It does make me very happy, it does make me wanting to change a little bit someone's else day :)
(don't know how to tag, perhaps its just @missy and @rambo? i guess so :D )
(Sorry about grammar, brazilian chick, this kind of things made me tear up a little bit here)
