vanile

25 years and no way. Everything revolves around me what my state of life can be summed up? I'm just. I surrender to my job that I love sports, guitar, without which I can not live, I surrender to all that decided to take myself doing everything to go well but still gnaws at me a feeling of indifference, heaviness , loss of appetite. Everything seems so bland, so insubstantial that I fear every moment to be more dead.
I've lost inches months so many things that seemed eternal .... I had to close many doors, not knowing if it was right or not sure if now, be prepared to do so.
Few people were in my life remain and new ones are like they're farther away, like my relationships with people on the clock had turned my life inaccessible, resulting in a completely different way of being. Not better, not worse, different. But I can not get used to finish.
I'm the same but I guess if many days when I observe in the mirror or when I navigate in the depths of my mind I do not recognize.
I need to find me. Focus. I need something, I do not know that that light into my well of darkness, to return the flavor to my life.
I seek refuge with soap bubbles, shadows of unreality where everything stays the same no matter yet, travel. Being out to be, be without existing, sailing without a rudder.
The worst slump of my life could be saved but now I wonder this as I'll go?
Only I can help, no one will understand.
Old bad habits and routines have abandoned me and returned to the saddest of all, though sometimes little word says otherwise, I will not leave until you have a compelling reason to do it.
The clock starts running fast, sand falls, each time more difficult to go back, each minute more difficult to feel again something with enough intensity.
I feel very alone and I'm lost but there are times where I get to smile with sincerity and be truly happy.
Is that right? Being happy for something to fall back, again feel pleasure and pain.
I was not nor will I be a princess. I was not allowed to be quite a woman.
What am I if not a wandering traveler? What if I'm being fussy always gray, but sometimes I feed?