vandemar

I haven't really slept for days. I have to force myself to eat. I'm dropping weight quickly. My body has been aching alot.

My depression has escilated to new heights. I hate everything about my life. I'm lonely and scared. I need support love and affection but my illness has driven her away. I wish she knew how much I love her and need her right now. But she hates it when people need her. I suppose I'd just interfere with her life.

At least I am going to the doctor tomorrow (later today). I'm also going to the eye doctor, because they are checking for glaucoma. That's all I need right now. To find out I'm going blind. The eye doc did say thatI probably don't have it though.

my choices for television tonight? the weather channel, hecules on SciFi, Vh1 and mtv.

I'm gonna go read and try to forget how bad I feel.