Well... A week passes. It is INDEED time I knuckled down to my SG duties, and updated. Thing is, I wish I had news to tell you. Short of buying a complete [and MOT'ed] BSA Bantam motorbike for 20 from Ebay, not much has happened. I hate using words without reason. This seems almost an excercise in futility...
If I apologise in advance for the somewhat rambling nature of this entry, maybe it will become excusable?
Not much has happened, I've probably been hit by a wave of lethargy.
As I spent this very eve in Rockworld in complete solitude, I thought some things through. Despite being almost completely surrounded by people, I've not felt so alone in many years. The music seemed to be a connection between reality and sinking into the floor in a blizzard of splinters and cigarette smoke. If you see me there again it will be under some duress. I hate the fact I don't fit in.. Someways, I never have, from conception to today. Uncomfortably striding between too long ago and the new asthetic. I'm sure one of these days my peers will either catch up or I will regress in an attempt to feel the 'retro vibe'. Is this the reason I can spend hours at a time in a club I've frequented for over ten years and not speak to anyone other than the barstaff? Don't get me wrong, I love a good night out as much as the next man, but I can't seem to adjust to changing flow of creativity when it comes to music. I like what I like and can't ever synchronise with anyone else. It makes me feel in splendid isolation yet still somewhat defective... Is this something I should cherish or despise? I'm still on a 'time out' on that particular quandry.
I'm not about to change to fit someone else's ideal, so if you chance upon me in a nightclub, just say "hi!". I don't bite. Who knows, we may have more in common that you realise! The way you look and the things you listen to are NOT the be-all and end-all of a person. Certainly not when I'm concerned. Everyone I know and love have a deeper side to be explored, the superficial and fashion-conscious elements of people I meet mean next to nothing. Why should they? Thank goodness Rock Lobster came on before I left the club. "Lots of trouble, lots of bubble!" "I was in a Jam! I was in a giant clam!" It should be prescribed, in moderation, for a mile wide grin!
Sorry for this wallowing, self indulgent post, but some pretty bad thoughts have been swimming around my head recently and this represents a cathartic means of purging them. I'm well on the road to wellsville again and I hope all my good folks on my friends list (and otherwise) are doing OK too!
Take care of yourself, enjoy the Northern Lights. Bathe in its magnetic hue. I even got a few pics of it last night!
x v78 - Tentative post #2 @_@ x
ps. Send your fond farewell regards to djscalliwag Wish him Godspeed and all, wherever he ends up!
If I apologise in advance for the somewhat rambling nature of this entry, maybe it will become excusable?
Not much has happened, I've probably been hit by a wave of lethargy.
As I spent this very eve in Rockworld in complete solitude, I thought some things through. Despite being almost completely surrounded by people, I've not felt so alone in many years. The music seemed to be a connection between reality and sinking into the floor in a blizzard of splinters and cigarette smoke. If you see me there again it will be under some duress. I hate the fact I don't fit in.. Someways, I never have, from conception to today. Uncomfortably striding between too long ago and the new asthetic. I'm sure one of these days my peers will either catch up or I will regress in an attempt to feel the 'retro vibe'. Is this the reason I can spend hours at a time in a club I've frequented for over ten years and not speak to anyone other than the barstaff? Don't get me wrong, I love a good night out as much as the next man, but I can't seem to adjust to changing flow of creativity when it comes to music. I like what I like and can't ever synchronise with anyone else. It makes me feel in splendid isolation yet still somewhat defective... Is this something I should cherish or despise? I'm still on a 'time out' on that particular quandry.
I'm not about to change to fit someone else's ideal, so if you chance upon me in a nightclub, just say "hi!". I don't bite. Who knows, we may have more in common that you realise! The way you look and the things you listen to are NOT the be-all and end-all of a person. Certainly not when I'm concerned. Everyone I know and love have a deeper side to be explored, the superficial and fashion-conscious elements of people I meet mean next to nothing. Why should they? Thank goodness Rock Lobster came on before I left the club. "Lots of trouble, lots of bubble!" "I was in a Jam! I was in a giant clam!" It should be prescribed, in moderation, for a mile wide grin!
Sorry for this wallowing, self indulgent post, but some pretty bad thoughts have been swimming around my head recently and this represents a cathartic means of purging them. I'm well on the road to wellsville again and I hope all my good folks on my friends list (and otherwise) are doing OK too!
Take care of yourself, enjoy the Northern Lights. Bathe in its magnetic hue. I even got a few pics of it last night!
x v78 - Tentative post #2 @_@ x
ps. Send your fond farewell regards to djscalliwag Wish him Godspeed and all, wherever he ends up!
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
To give you some words of wisdom from one of my heroes Ginger Wildheart, "Take your time, speak your mind/Believe their politics and they'll push you on under/Be inspired, be a freak with pride" Pretty much my life philosophy that.
Stay crazy man and I hope you have some better nights out in the near future.
Hell, I've been avoiding those lately. Every time I show up someplace around Glasgow, I drink too much to relieve the boredom and futility of it all... then I go home, wake up pained in the morning and go back to work.
My work is far more fulfilling than my social life at the moment.
But... the above makes me sound like a self-indulgent teenager, which I most certainly am not.
So there's a deeper cause to it all.
I blame music.
Music is life. Music is energy. Music is the be all and the end all. Oh, alright, so it ain't, but fuck... it looks good written down that way. Let's just accept that it's important for the psychological well being of guys like us.
Lately, I don't dance as much as I used to.
When in a nightclub, I aim for the bar rather than the dancefloor.
This is how I come to end up drunk.
By which point I have no co-ordination, and don't want to dance, so back to the bar I go.
Viscious circle, and the reason I end up with hangovers.
The answer then, is to dance.
Throw your hands in the air and wave 'em like you just don't care.
I need to relax my tolerance level for music that ain't 'mine'. I need to relocate the joy I used to feel when lost in the beat.
Maybe that'd help you too. Fuck knows, it can't hurt.