Login
Forgot Password?

OR

Login with Google Login with Twitter Login with Facebook
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • SuicideGirls
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
Vital Stats

vampirate

I told the border guard that I consider myself a Citizen of The Universe. He was not impressed.

Member Since 2004

Followers 62 Following 36

  • Everything
  • Photos
  • Video
  • Blogs
  • Groups
  • From Others

Monday May 22, 2006

May 22, 2006
0
  • Facebook
  • Tweet
  • Email
Instead of subjecting everyone to the agonizing and uninteresting details of frustration and self-loathing, I'm going to just start posting recipies. If you can cook, these aren't for you. If you can't, these are in the spirit of Steve Carter's hypothetical cable access cooking show for bachelors, I'm Gettin' Laid, except not as good.

Everyone needs to be able to knock off a bread product. This is a simple, easy, unleavened half-hour concoction.

You will need:

  • 2 cups flour

  • 1 tsp salt

  • 1 tsp baking powder

  • 1 large egg

  • 2 tbsp oil

  • 1 tbsp vinegar

  • 2/3 cup beer (the darker the better)

Now do this:

  • Preheat your oven to 450 degrees Farenheit.

  • Combine flour, salt, and baking powder in a bowl that's more than big enough to hold them. Mix 'em well.

  • Crack egg into a bowl, and beat until relatively homogenous. Add oil, vinegar, and beer. Mix 'em well.

  • Add the wet stuff to the dry stuff. Mix everything until totally homogeneous.

  • Grease a cookie sheet with oil or Pam or whatever. Pour mixture out onto sheet, in a circle six to eight inches across, no more than an inch thick.

  • Stick it in the oven for 25 minutes.


here you go. You can use slices of this to mop up any excess saucy dishes you might have made to try to get someone into bed. Butter, margerine, and cheese also make good toppings (although not necessarily together).

Stay tuned for other easy as shit dishes that chicks like Al totally dig.

VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
agrippina:
Sounds intriguing, perhaps because of my peoples' penchant for unleavened bread. Granted, not so much "penchant for" vs. "OMFG grab your shit and run," but hey. Anything to complement sauciness.

[Edited on May 23, 2006 5:31PM]
May 23, 2006
hrh:
Your recipe was making my insomniac night. Then I realized, hey, I make something almost exactly like that, except there's more of it and I call it beer bread. What do you call yours? Beer puck? I guess my night is still made.

Anyway, since the theme seems to be cooking-for-sex, I'd like to make a recommendation. Once you've gotten the woman of your choice into bed with your amazing beer puck, you can amaze her all over againin the morning with beer pancakes (and other things, of course). Aunt Jemima's buttermilk pancake mix+beer. And you can use the crappy lager that your friends left in your fridge. God, I would be so stoked.
Jun 8, 2006

More Blogs

  • 12.03.06
    19

    Sunday Dec 03, 2006

    I have to have my final examinations written by tomorrow. My kitch…
  • 11.16.06
    10

    Thursday Nov 16, 2006

    All right, chumps, here I go again. Don't hate me because I'm beauti…
  • 10.21.06
    13

    Saturday Oct 21, 2006

    Read More
  • 09.20.06
    58

    Wednesday Sep 20, 2006

    I didn't know what to say about this at the time, and I still have no…
  • 08.24.06
    55

    Thursday Aug 24, 2006

    I just completed the most wonderful course of mornings, noons, and ni…
  • 08.14.06
    16

    Tuesday Aug 15, 2006

    Here I go (* see footnote). ----- * Or here I come, depending o…
  • 08.09.06
    11

    Wednesday Aug 09, 2006

    Those who can, do; those who can't, blog (see footnote 1). ----- 1.…
  • 08.01.06
    24

    Tuesday Aug 01, 2006

    I am officially a Physics teacher now, and in late September, I will …
  • 07.31.06
    5

    Monday Jul 31, 2006

    Someone just made art with me in mind for the first time in my entire…
  • 07.12.06
    7

    Wednesday Jul 12, 2006

    Sometimes I wonder if my day-to-day alcohol consumption might be a bi…

We at SuicideGirls have been celebrating alternative pin-up girls for:

24
years
0
months
1
day
  • 5,509,826 fans
  • 41,393 fans
  • 10,327,617 followers
  • 4,608 SuicideGirls
  • 1,112,987 followers
  • 14,970,324 photos
  • 321,315 followers
  • 61,513,679 comments
  • Join
  • Profiles
  • Groups
  • Photos
  • Videos
  • Shop
  • Help
  • About
  • Press
  • LIVE

Legal/Tos | DMCA | Privacy Policy | 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement | Contact Us | Vendo Payment Support
©SuicideGirls 2001-2025

Press enter to search
Fast Hi-res

Click here to join & see it all...

Crop your photo