vagabondking

I think I reached that point where I realized shit doesn't really matter. None of it. I've been living my life with ambitions and goals which were really only ways for me to justify my existence to myself. Not that I'm suicidal or anything but rather trying to assure myself that it wasn't just a fluke occurrence. But lately its just like, "whats the fucking point?" Shit happens, and people will talk you up. People will tell you're like a bother to them but the moment shit goes sour everyone disbands and has nothing to do with each other. I guess I was just very disillusioned with how shit was supposed to be. Like the line in watchmen, where Nightowl asks,"What happeed to the american dream. The Comedian replies, " It came true." I guess in the end I feel very naive and idealistic for thinking shit wasn't supposed to be this way. But the truth is everyone at one point in their life over one thing or another will do whatever it takes to get whatever they're after regardless of who they have to fuck over or step along the way It's in our nature, to be consumed by our dreams and ambitions. But I wasn't consumed I was just trying to distract myself from the inevitable truth that it doesn't really count for shit. I could write a hundred songs or publish dozens of different comic series but what does it matter. Sure you leave a legacy, you've ensured your name will be recorded in some form of history book but what after that. Should I simply resign myself to that? I mean fuck, look how many songs Elvis and The Beatles wrote but did either change the world, no it still keeps on spinning just the same had the never contributed anything. So if your value doesn't come from the contributions you make then from where? From the company we keep , the people we care about , the person we're with, our friends and families. But if that's reduced and you're left damn near empty handed you gain a whole new perspective on shit. You start to see this shit really doesn't matter, none of it. I'm gonna go get hammered drink till I can't feel shit, maybe get in a fight, after all this is what men do and what's the point in following social expectations if it doesnt matter anyways. So long story short, fuck 'em I'm getting drunk then going to the bar for more.