Wow ive been absent for a few days havent i !?
I went away for the weekend with my boyfriend, out into the middle of nowhere, surrounded in snow capped mountains and waterfalls, it was beautiful. It was a good time to clear my head a little and do some thinking! Over the weekend i ate somewhat normally, and it was okay, then i got back home and weighed myself and it all came back again, those old feelings, those insecurities, the guilt..i gained weight, as i imagined i would, i just cant handle it though. Ive upped my exercise and am bringing my intake back down, again. Its like a never ending cycle. When am i ever going to be free?
Anyway the weekend was nice, i even ate an easter egg
...we went for a 2 hour walk and it was so high, like up in the clouds high...it was misty as fuck though so i missed out on the spectacular view. 
Im planning on getting back off the drugs, theyre really not doing anything for me, but its like i just want that escape that feeling of nothingness drugs bring, but its not the way out. I use then am too highly aroused, begin panicking, having anxiety each and every time, so why bother...sometimes its like i use to punish myself.
Go leave sweet comments on the beautiful Thora's set !
http://suicidegirls.com/members/Thora/albums/site/13382/
I went away for the weekend with my boyfriend, out into the middle of nowhere, surrounded in snow capped mountains and waterfalls, it was beautiful. It was a good time to clear my head a little and do some thinking! Over the weekend i ate somewhat normally, and it was okay, then i got back home and weighed myself and it all came back again, those old feelings, those insecurities, the guilt..i gained weight, as i imagined i would, i just cant handle it though. Ive upped my exercise and am bringing my intake back down, again. Its like a never ending cycle. When am i ever going to be free?
Anyway the weekend was nice, i even ate an easter egg
...we went for a 2 hour walk and it was so high, like up in the clouds high...it was misty as fuck though so i missed out on the spectacular view. Im planning on getting back off the drugs, theyre really not doing anything for me, but its like i just want that escape that feeling of nothingness drugs bring, but its not the way out. I use then am too highly aroused, begin panicking, having anxiety each and every time, so why bother...sometimes its like i use to punish myself.
Go leave sweet comments on the beautiful Thora's set !
http://suicidegirls.com/members/Thora/albums/site/13382/
VIEW 19 of 19 COMMENTS
I'm extremely hopeful that you will be able to turn things around before it gets to that point. I'll be here whenever I can be of any use.