vacio

good luck with your exam!

Aww
thanks sweettty!!!!
Im goin to watch ur set now

I'm so pleased you're used to that kind of infantile hostility. I'd prefer that you were showered with affection by one and all, but of course none of us get to have it that easy, and as you've said before, we have to get accustomed to some adversity because painful things will invariably come along which we have to somehow endure. But not today! Love you!

i am 15 weeks. and huge. i will put up pictures as soon as i find my camera cord. it is currently missing.

Hey, what a surprise, I managed to find something good to say about your set! Who would have thought?! (If only everything in life were so certain! )

It's pretty reasonable to suggest that your situation is different from non-anorexics' and thereby potentially mysterious to others. The thing is, when you spend a few decades studying how humans perceive the world, what drives us and how perceptions are formed and experienced, the patterns of our relationship with our surroundings and ourselves become clear and anorexia fits very nicely into that structure and no longer seems bizarre or mysterious. You are absolutely right when you refer to programming. I love my life these days because by learning about that programming, I know how we can add to it when we choose to. Also keep in mind that I was down to zero body fat in university yet saw a guy in the mirror who might look acceptable if he lost a couple of kilos. My eating disorders will always be there but I'm not their slave and I know I don't have an illness. We all have many choices but seldom recognize them. I was lucky and met the right people in addition to investing much time, so passing on that luck seems like the best thing in the world to me. I'd like you to be here till your appointment next week at least.

The differences there are between male and female brains are reasonably well documented and rather smaller than had been believed. Much early conditioning goes into encouraging all of us to suppress certain ideas and feelings in this regard so that we can be "normal" boys and girls. I think you've seen through a lot of that and avoided it in your own life, actually.

You're an adult now, so you can go where you like and do what you wish. I don't see how you can be put in the hospital if you don't want to be, which means that you can listen to the creature at your leisure and decide for yourself. You know that if I had to choose, I would rather you picked a hospital for a bit than a coffin for eternity, and if it were possible, I would go into the hospital in your stead while you went on a nice holiday.

I remember being a toothpick and feeling quite comfy during 45 degree Celsius weather when everyone else was gasping for breath. That, of course, was the upside. We're having more heavy snow and cold, so I'm staying in and fondling my mouse. I'm also looking into cutting edge nutrition to have more energy, and making a bit more money so I can travel, perhaps. (hint)

Its almost time for your set to go up! I'm excited, and I know you are too. Sorry I didn't respond earlier, this semester is kicking my ass somewhat. I miss talkin with you, but hate the slow back and forth of the blog comments, you know? I wish you didn't live on the other side of the world so we could at least talk from time to time.

I completely relate to hating change! I do make exceptions for change that I select in order to improve something that's not working as well as I'd like. Every decision has its benefits and its drawbacks and rarely do we have an option that is close to ideal in every way, so what you decide depends on your personal, subjective preferences. The dog would go to whomever can give him the best life. If that guides you, you will feel as good as the situation allows. Anyway, only you know when it's time to give up on the guy, and no amount of strength can ever make it easy or painless, but separate worlds doesn't sound like too intimate or comfortable an environment to me.

You don't have to be aware of it to possess great strength, believe me. You are not the only anorexic I know ( just the only one I think about every minute) so I understand that there is always ambivalence about giving it up that comes with the territory. The main prerequisites to success in anything are desire and a belief that you can succeed, so it's up to you ultimately. Does it really seem likely that you, alone, are so deficient in some crucial way that you can't find happiness or self-worth without the spectre of death looming and all those around you needing to accept it? You're a wonderful soul in spite of this stuff, as I see it, not because of it. I'm guessing a few people have said that!

Love you!

Two at the moment - they are great company for each other. One more could be OTW soon, though....

Well clearly you need to get up & come over here

I am doing great, thanks.

You mean I can stop holding my breath?

Thank you dear. If you are happy and well, then my year will be starting just the way I want it to.

Hey babe, sorry have been of-line for some time.
All goes well up here, weathers getting better, just finnished a 160k cycle race, have put my name down for a100k 'sprint' so guess the budgy smugglers will get another outing

hows the gym job going, how are you going