Dear Duane, creepy security guard who works in my building,
Please stop verbally noticing everything about my appearance. It makes me ill to know that everytime you see me you are imagining me naked. Yes I cut my hair, yes this skirt would go better with the boots, yes I'm wearing a fucking color today. Get a fucking life.
Please stop harassing all women, including my co-worker. She was trying to be nice to you, not because she wants to sit on your lap, but because she is nice to EVERYBODY. Calling her 20 times (literally) and stopping by to see if she would give you a bowl is not okay, it's obsessive and not at all normal.
Please stop thinking that all women are available unless they have a wedding ring on. I may at one time not be with my boyfriend (though I can't fathom it) but this does not mean that I will ever, ever, ever want to even be your friend, let alone think of you as more.
Please stop saying ridiculously sexist claims about "all women" it just shows what an ignorant dweeb you are. If a few women have elephants memory and call you on your shit it doesn't mean that all of us are unrelenting bitches. You probably deserved whatever you got.
I know I sound like a heartless bitch, which is what I am in your case. THERE IS A REASON YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU. It's not all her.
Maybe instead of chasing women around the builiding, and loafing around doing nothing at your desk, you could start working on yourself. 'Cause you sure could use it, dude.
Please stop verbally noticing everything about my appearance. It makes me ill to know that everytime you see me you are imagining me naked. Yes I cut my hair, yes this skirt would go better with the boots, yes I'm wearing a fucking color today. Get a fucking life.
Please stop harassing all women, including my co-worker. She was trying to be nice to you, not because she wants to sit on your lap, but because she is nice to EVERYBODY. Calling her 20 times (literally) and stopping by to see if she would give you a bowl is not okay, it's obsessive and not at all normal.
Please stop thinking that all women are available unless they have a wedding ring on. I may at one time not be with my boyfriend (though I can't fathom it) but this does not mean that I will ever, ever, ever want to even be your friend, let alone think of you as more.
Please stop saying ridiculously sexist claims about "all women" it just shows what an ignorant dweeb you are. If a few women have elephants memory and call you on your shit it doesn't mean that all of us are unrelenting bitches. You probably deserved whatever you got.
I know I sound like a heartless bitch, which is what I am in your case. THERE IS A REASON YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU. It's not all her.
Maybe instead of chasing women around the builiding, and loafing around doing nothing at your desk, you could start working on yourself. 'Cause you sure could use it, dude.
hearts:
Let me at him! I love pounding jerks like this into the ground with my razor sharp wit and burning their souls with my icy laser eyes of steel! Umm, anyway..thanks for the present you dork! I can't hang out on first Thursday because I'll be performing at a benefit show. Wish me luck and hope I don't fall on my ass. I don't usually work nights, though, so we can meet up soon.