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userunknown

Upland, CA

Member Since 2006

Followers 9 Following 23

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Monday Dec 11, 2006

Dec 11, 2006
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Well, hello again. Hope everyone is doing well. smile It's been a killer busy few days here. I got selected for a special project at work and been going thru extra training. Which is cool cause it's after-hours and I get the overtime pay so I'm totally okay with it. Hehe.

Got to go to TGI Friday's with some work mates afterwards. There's this one girl there, oh my. Yah, she's awesome. LOL. But, it's company ink and I should prolly keep my pen out of it but, still. It's fun to poke, prod and play around. Well... not like that! DIRTY! LOL. But, ya know, friendly banter, and the occasional drunken inuendo. I know better at least so I'm not gonna get my hopes up. Hell, I find if I keep my spirits down, when good things happen it's extra good.

So, here's where I turn dark tonight. Heh. I've been finding again lately that it's hard for me to... stay happy. Everyone knows me as happy and always spunky and full of good things and energy. Even my death-metal rocker side is happy. Heh. But... IDK. Lately it's like, I can't hold it. I need to release myself for awhile to keep it up. Sometimes, it's an image. At work, I play the angel and good boy. Here, I can be happy and sincere without fear, but still... let go once in awhile. Examplpe... a lovely friend that I post to on this site often. I'm not faking happy, and I truly care about how life is treating this individual. I don't want to see them upset, or down, and I'll gladly do what I can to help. Nothings fake, or hidden. It's genuine. Closer to home, my flatmate, same thing. I care. He's one of my closest mates. I'd do what I can to make sure he's in the green and clear of troubles. Those people make me happy, and keep me grounded. Even if I don't know them or see them often, those that are like that for me... A++. People at work tho, I could care less, and I need a break from faking it. And no folks, IDK why I fake it if I don't mean it. I guess it's what I was taught from mum and pop.

Oh well. As I re-read that mess it makes no sense and will likely get me into trouble. But I'm going to start drinking tonight and hope it helps. I don't know how I feel really or why. I know tho, I need a date, a hug and... something else. One day I suppose. Forgive me for being odd tonight. It wasn't the best of days I suppose. G'night all. I hope you're doing wonderful! smile Wow. I can't believe I'm actually posting this garbage.

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