userunknown

I get Thursday off and that's my free trip to Disneyland. Yay!

I don't know if I'm looking forward to it or not. It's gonna be with family and I should be happy about that I guess but I didn't grow up with any family so I'm not much into that stuff ya know? It's not a bad thing I just lived 2,500 miles away from them. It's not so wrong is it? I know family is big to a bunch of people, but when it comes to me I just have a hard time with them. I can't open up to them and don't really wanna deal with the attemp. Does that make me bad? I'm sure it anything it'll make me a turn-off. I know lots of girls appreciate a guy who is in with the family and, uh, I'm not one of them. Damn.

So, in other news. I'm having a hard time today and the last few days. I am doing what I shouldn't be doing and pining over this girl I know. She is totally the coolest. She fits everything I want really. We share a brain almost. I have never, in my life, gotten along with anyone this well. Not even myself. And there have been a few issues and all so it's been tough and we tried seeing each other but it didn't work out too well. We're still talking to each other when we can but. I miss her. I think because of a recent relationship on her part she doesn't want to make 'us' the rebound. I guess that's okay. I just wish I knew how to deal with the feelings. It's not easy and it sucks. I'm totally depressed over here. I need more friends and I need to go and get into something but it's a mobius strip. I feel like I can't go out and do this until I get a girl, but unless something happens with Lara, I'll never get a girl and then I'll never wanna go out and do stuff and if I can't go out who do I.... see my issue?

Well, I've gotten seaQuest in my hands from Amazon and have just about finished watching it all. At least the first season. I loved this show. It was good stuff. Anyway, I'm out of things to say but I have so much to say. I'll be here and there.

Hope everyone is doing well here.