Why I am stressed to the edge of capacity and none too pleased with life:
1. Rent is due in a couple days. That's a lot of fucking money that I just don't have for what NEEDS to be paid.
2. Bills are piling up more and more. Some of them are becoming quite overdue. Yet again, this is a lot of fucking money that I just don't have for what NEEDS to be paid.
3. I can't seem to get a job. The only jobs that I can find/have applied for (and the list gets bigger every day) either a) don't pay enough -- i'm not looking for anything high class here, but i have to get by; or b) want me to have a piece of paper that says I know my shit. I don't have said paper; or c) don't hire me because I'm actually a much worse person than I knew. Which would suck.
4. I have to be out of my apartment in mid-August. I have nowhere to go. Even if I were to get a job RIGHT NOW and start paying off bills and such, I still wouldn't have the money for a security deposit/first month's rent. And I have no roommates/prospective roommates so I'm on my own.
5. Parking tickets. I fucking hate the parking nazis. If I can't get one of the FEW on-street parking spots I have a permit for (the closest of which is about 2 blocks from my apartment), I have to park at the meters in front of my place. Do I have change for them? no. Can I afford the meters at all? no. Can I afford the tickets they give me for being forced to park there? no. As of last month, my vehicle registration is suspended. More money I just don't have. Let's hope I don't get pulled over. More money I just wouldn't have.
6. My ISP. I am paying 80 fucking dollars a month for cable. Because a 1.5 down is their 'premium' service of course. Cocksuckers. I get disconnected on average 10-20 times an hour. I am connected less than 50% of the time. It's more than an annoyance. It's ridiculous.
7. Everything else that keeps me awake all night.
8. I just typed out this whole fucking entry and *poof* it was gone.
Solution: I need a job immediately. If not sooner. I will move ANYWHERE in mid-august if I can find a decent job and a place to live. I somehow doubt this will happen. I want to move out of this town. I would like to go to seattle area or oregon. I seriously doubt that will happen. Every day, the situation and the stress only gets worse. On a lighter note, I'm actually feeling less sick today. Sweet. Well, not shit more I can do today about my situation. I'm going to go drink now and try to forget for a little while. Beer or bleach I still haven't decided.
1. Rent is due in a couple days. That's a lot of fucking money that I just don't have for what NEEDS to be paid.
2. Bills are piling up more and more. Some of them are becoming quite overdue. Yet again, this is a lot of fucking money that I just don't have for what NEEDS to be paid.
3. I can't seem to get a job. The only jobs that I can find/have applied for (and the list gets bigger every day) either a) don't pay enough -- i'm not looking for anything high class here, but i have to get by; or b) want me to have a piece of paper that says I know my shit. I don't have said paper; or c) don't hire me because I'm actually a much worse person than I knew. Which would suck.
4. I have to be out of my apartment in mid-August. I have nowhere to go. Even if I were to get a job RIGHT NOW and start paying off bills and such, I still wouldn't have the money for a security deposit/first month's rent. And I have no roommates/prospective roommates so I'm on my own.
5. Parking tickets. I fucking hate the parking nazis. If I can't get one of the FEW on-street parking spots I have a permit for (the closest of which is about 2 blocks from my apartment), I have to park at the meters in front of my place. Do I have change for them? no. Can I afford the meters at all? no. Can I afford the tickets they give me for being forced to park there? no. As of last month, my vehicle registration is suspended. More money I just don't have. Let's hope I don't get pulled over. More money I just wouldn't have.
6. My ISP. I am paying 80 fucking dollars a month for cable. Because a 1.5 down is their 'premium' service of course. Cocksuckers. I get disconnected on average 10-20 times an hour. I am connected less than 50% of the time. It's more than an annoyance. It's ridiculous.
7. Everything else that keeps me awake all night.
8. I just typed out this whole fucking entry and *poof* it was gone.
Solution: I need a job immediately. If not sooner. I will move ANYWHERE in mid-august if I can find a decent job and a place to live. I somehow doubt this will happen. I want to move out of this town. I would like to go to seattle area or oregon. I seriously doubt that will happen. Every day, the situation and the stress only gets worse. On a lighter note, I'm actually feeling less sick today. Sweet. Well, not shit more I can do today about my situation. I'm going to go drink now and try to forget for a little while. Beer or bleach I still haven't decided.
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(((hugs)))