i hate how this mood can sneak up on me. i am fine then suddenly, so low. i've spent too many years blaming other people for things. blaming them for my moods, my depression. sometimes i wish i was more self-destructive. i wish i could numb myself with substances, but i feel too much guilt with that. and i am too much of a coward... Read More
wow it is like you have read me like a book, I feelthat same emptyness and numbness only i tend to be sitting her and tears start rolling down my cheeks for no apparent reason.
Chin up girly perhaps together we can figure something out
apparently, i am a bad influence. hehe, i can live with that.
the fire alarm went off for an HOUR today at work. when one place in the building sets off the alarm, the whole damn plaza has to listen to what sounds like an alarm clock until the fire department comes to turn it off. fucking starbucks, its always them. fortunately one of the... Read More
fucking....arrrrrrg!
today in class, we had to form groups to do these little riddles. and i don't really talk to anyone in the class....sooooo, i was kinda looking around and mr. cute-but-illegal did the cutest fucking thing ever. he looked over, pointed at me, and gave me the one fingered "come here" motion. ARRRRRG! and of course, i smiled like a moron, and probably blushed.... Read More
i've been watching the 700 club a lot lately, just to see what kinda of crap they are spewing. i've come to the conclusion, that they are complete shitheads. today they were talking about gay marriage . one guy said something about "destroying the integrity". HA! integrity my ass. how many good christians are divorced...none right? i mean, the integrity of marriage is so important.... Read More
-to feel new
-to have someone fawn over me
-someone who can make me laugh
-to know what i am doing with my life
-to be admired for my parenting, instead of ridiculed for my age
-to be much thinner
-to know everything about history
-something signifigant to occupy my mind
-a maid
-a king sized bed
-an orange kitten
-my hair to... Read More
Hmm.. I don't want a whole lot. Correction, I don't NEED a whole lot.
However, I wouldn't mind...
- a few more dollars each week
- a luxurious facial
- a child that has the best of both of us
Don't worry, you are still young and all the things you want will come when the time is right. It sounds like you have a lot to be proud of...especially your beautiful daughter! Teach her to be a strong independent woman!
At one time I wanted to have everything all at once; I learned that you must be patient and wait...that's really hard for me!