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Twenty years ago

We made love in a rain storm once, in Old Greenwich. The night sweltered
amid lighting and thunder, containing smells of damp earth, cut grass
and pine.

You did not know I was weeping then.
I acknowledged my hubris, arrogance, and love known too early,
with the rain hiding my tears.

Your wildness is still deep inside me, coals, embers, and memories.
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Be quiet to listen.
openhearted to learn.
watch actions, before words.
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I'm so eager to disappoint,
striving to race to the bottom.
It's so secure.

Poking, jabbing,
and cutting,
past,
and present.

Consumed,
Scraped,
burned,
inside out.

Every bit,
screaming
little deaths
of sacrifice.

It's predictable,
to not have
or want
a future.

Some hurts are like a
mothers arms,
a safe harbor.
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Not one of my better poems, but heart felt never the less....
I'll have pictures and updates about the trip to Amsterdam and Barcelona.......


A day after the day

Now is not the time to give in,
nor wade deep into the sea to be
embraced, and remain.

To be passive,
to merely let things happen,
is not a option,
there is nothing,
to gain....
Read More
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Off I go on vacation this Friday, I'll be in Amsterdam, and then Barcelona, for two weeks. Lots to explore, lots to find out new.

Anyone been to Barcelona?
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
dis:
the devil bike is teh hot.

Maybe you should take it to:

CSS

teehee.

xx
stiles:
I quit my job about a week ago. This is just catching up with friends.
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Having a grumpy day, keep on going around and around about personal stuff.
I want to be giving, loving, open, but when someone hurts me, I don't deal with
it well.

As a example:

A ex of my lover has banned me from events I would normally go to with her,
for reasons he has never voiced to me directly. I've never met him,
or...
Read More
elisabeth:
I think that this is something potentially punitive, voicing it in your journal here.

Perhaps you don't have the full story, and who knows what your lover has said to the ex, maybe they're playing some game of their own? I know all about games with ex's..and they're not fun, but here's the thing, she's the one who stands the most to lose. You.

Eleanor Roosevelt once said, "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." You're too good to get hurt by someone, especially at this moment in life. smile
elisabeth:
Gotcha. Sometimes it's better that way, I've found. I mean not mingling certain worlds. I've become somewhat of an expert at it, which proves to be taxing, sometimes.
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stiles:
I'm working my ass off and pondering all things I want to do this spring and summer that I'm not going to get a chance to do if I stay in this job.
stiles:
I've been wanting to beef up the suspension on the Sprint since I got it. Ohlins doesn't make a shock for it anymore. I'm thinking I'll get Lindemann Engineering to rework the stock crap.
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maddigan:
love