uranusup

how can you rid yourself of feelings? You make them seem a thousand miles away and then suddenly WHOOSH! they're back closer and more painful than before like a knife paring away deep into your soul getting rid of whats not yet black and hardened from the years of self suffering.

no money

no future

no life

no faith

no hope

i feel like a snail under the boot of an evil child...do it you little shit and stop this feeling of total loss and bewilderment...........

lost

alone

afraid

confused

sickened

betrayed

used

discarded

disparing

dying

crying in

FUCK IT

FUCK THEM

FUCK HER

FUCK EVERYTHING

FUCK WHAT HAS GONE BEFORE

IGNORE WHAT YOU CANNOT CHANGE

ENCOURAGE WHAT YOU CAN

LEAVE THAT LIFE BEHIND

GET A...
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i think these lyrics say it all.........


All I can say is that my life is pretty plain

I like watchin' the puddles gather rain

And all I can do is just pour some tea for two

and speak my point of view

But it's not sane, It's not sane

I just want some one to say to me

I'll always be there when you...
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i just remembered what happened friday nite. so drunk.
i caught the landlady out by the toilets with a mate of a mate of mine, i remember that she had fancied him from a time he was in the pub a month or so ago...it's amazing how you can blank out things that you don't want to remember.

i've been played, used by her to...
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this cannot be my life can it?
what in the hell happened?
who did i fuck over to desrve this?
why can't i get out of this rut?
why do i feel sorry about feeling sorry for myself?
why is it i feel different from everbody else?
why is it i can be lonely in a crowded bar?
why up one minute, down the next?...
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couple of very low days so not the best of times to write. if you are in the gutter all you see is stars......

having a bad day

i have the willpower of a gnat.

it's got to stop and i only i can do that so not going to the pub tonite, tomorrow or all next week and the week after....she is like a drug and i know i can go cold turkey.........can i/

take out chinese tonite...yummy!!!

another nite at the pub, she comes onto me......what do i do? i am old enough to be her dad but i love her so....answers on a postcard please....