uranusup

i think these lyrics say it all.........


All I can say is that my life is pretty plain

I like watchin' the puddles gather rain

And all I can do is just pour some tea for two

and speak my point of view

But it's not sane, It's not sane

I just want some one to say to me

I'll always be there when you...
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i just remembered what happened friday nite. so drunk.
i caught the landlady out by the toilets with a mate of a mate of mine, i remember that she had fancied him from a time he was in the pub a month or so ago...it's amazing how you can blank out things that you don't want to remember.

i've been played, used by her to...
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this cannot be my life can it?
what in the hell happened?
who did i fuck over to desrve this?
why can't i get out of this rut?
why do i feel sorry about feeling sorry for myself?
why is it i feel different from everbody else?
why is it i can be lonely in a crowded bar?
why up one minute, down the next?...
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couple of very low days so not the best of times to write. if you are in the gutter all you see is stars......

having a bad day

i have the willpower of a gnat.

it's got to stop and i only i can do that so not going to the pub tonite, tomorrow or all next week and the week after....she is like a drug and i know i can go cold turkey.........can i/

take out chinese tonite...yummy!!!

another nite at the pub, she comes onto me......what do i do? i am old enough to be her dad but i love her so....answers on a postcard please....

went to the tate, ok but not mind blowing as i hoped. saw some pollocks and loved them, the rothko's were awesome and i loved the gilbert and george.....hold on....it was'nt that bad as i thought!!

Tate Britian or the Saatchi next

stayed in london and had a few drinks by the river....what draws people to riverside pubs?


blew off my shrink appointment, go next...
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i'm a fool. i don't love that girl. it's an infatuation which i now realise could never happen. don't think i'll go to the tate tomorrow............pointless and i'm skint!

i'm drinking too much. i use it to avoid my life, my life.....my life.... i do not have a life. i exist. do not produce or provide. i'm a worthless piece of shit that deserves nothing.

on a lighter note.......what lighter note! i'm a knob, an idiot who once believed his own hype........need to get real soon or die.

still think that i love becca....
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the back is better, shame chiropractors cannot sort out my head as i feel that i am slipping back into a funk......
all i seem to do is try to save money, drink heavy on a friday and spend the week skint!!!
bollox to this! I'm going out and getting drunk, it gets me thru the night.

on a lighter note, am going to the...
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