So I'll be in and out for a while...
My grandpa, mom, and aunts decided yesterday since there was no improvement with my grandma, to just let her go naturally and peacefully. Being on a ventilator was just not any sort of life one person should have to live.
I guess reality still hasn't set in. When I'm alone, which has been often latley....I just watch tv..or go on walks with my dog...and just sort of go through life in a very dense fog...but when I talk about it with my mom or her husband.... I lose it...I guess denial is still somewhat on my side so the full pain of losing her hasn't actually hit me yet. I can tell I'm getting closer and closer to completely losing the denial and feeling everything.
The service will be in a couple of weeks. They have to have one in New Jersey for family and friends there and then my grandpa is bringing her home (she wanted to be cremated) so we can have a service in North Carolina for everyone else.
I've lost people before....but this pain is completely different.
If you care about someone....let them know. You might feel "oh they already know how I feel about them"...but sometimes its just really nice to be told you're cared about.
Thank you for the support.
Much love.
This song...is me.....
"Say (All I Need)"
Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it
My grandpa, mom, and aunts decided yesterday since there was no improvement with my grandma, to just let her go naturally and peacefully. Being on a ventilator was just not any sort of life one person should have to live.
I guess reality still hasn't set in. When I'm alone, which has been often latley....I just watch tv..or go on walks with my dog...and just sort of go through life in a very dense fog...but when I talk about it with my mom or her husband.... I lose it...I guess denial is still somewhat on my side so the full pain of losing her hasn't actually hit me yet. I can tell I'm getting closer and closer to completely losing the denial and feeling everything.
The service will be in a couple of weeks. They have to have one in New Jersey for family and friends there and then my grandpa is bringing her home (she wanted to be cremated) so we can have a service in North Carolina for everyone else.
I've lost people before....but this pain is completely different.
If you care about someone....let them know. You might feel "oh they already know how I feel about them"...but sometimes its just really nice to be told you're cared about.
Thank you for the support.
Much love.
This song...is me.....
"Say (All I Need)"
Do you know where your heart is?
Do you think you can find it?
Or did you trade it for something
Somewhere better just to have it?
Do you know where your love is?
Do you think that you lost it?
You felt it so strong, but
Nothing's turned out how you wanted
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you know what your fate is?
And are you trying to shake it?
You're doing your best and
Your best look
You're praying that you make it
Well, bless my soul
You're a lonely soul
Cause you won't let go
Of anything you hold
Well, all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Better than you had it
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Do you think you can find it?
Yeah, better than you had it (Better than you had it)
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
I said I all I need
Is the air I breathe
And a place to rest
My head
Whenever the end is
Do you think you can see it?
Well, until you get there
Go on, go ahead and scream it
Just say it