unrequiteddream

so i decided to cancel my birthday plans......i dont even know why i bother sometimes...it seems that all the friends i have are friends that are only there out of convenience...i cried yesterday...i cried because this isnt new to me....every year i have to plan my own birthday, no one has ever thrown me a party, a get together, a breakfast, a dinner, hell, a birthday anything...when i was in high school, i remember on peoples birthdays, their friends would bring them balloons, flowers, cake, etc..and that special person would get to carry her balloons all day and feel special....i brought lots of flowers and balloons for my friends, but never once receieved anything....and whenever i would make plans for my bday, a lot of people who said they would show, would never show....this has happened every year since i can remember....and this year i wanted all my friends to join me for dinner at the rainbow and drinks at metal skool, and all ive been hearing is excuses as to why people cant go...it hurts you know? so fuck it...im not going to try anymore....i hate my birthday, im fucking depressed that people never care....oh well...whatfuckingever