Things I learned this weekend
- After watching "The Last Samurai", I have discovered that I'm way better at reviewing movies before I actually see them than I am after sleeping through them.
- It turns out that needing sleep to function properly was NOT a lie created by motivational speakers to help us nurture our imaginations.
- My arrival at a party signals awkward...
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- After watching "The Last Samurai", I have discovered that I'm way better at reviewing movies before I actually see them than I am after sleeping through them.
- It turns out that needing sleep to function properly was NOT a lie created by motivational speakers to help us nurture our imaginations.
- My arrival at a party signals awkward...
Read More
VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
I'm going to spend the next few sentences telling you why you should immediately see the film "Honey". It is also entirely possible you'll be overcome with the sudden need to grab a torch and form an angry mob with the sole intention of storming my face. But I don't care, because "Honey" is fucking dope and I'll take a face storming to represent.
I...
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I...
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VIEW 25 of 52 COMMENTS
uncognitive:
No, I must have gotten off the train before Clumsy Drunk Dude Avenue, probably around No Goddamn Trains For The Next Hour In The Freezing Cold Boulevard.
Admittedly, I probably would have laughed, because I'm an evil bastard. Assuming the pratfall didn't involve spurting blood or permanent nerve damage. I'm such the humanitarian.
Personally, I'm waiting for Honey 2:Electric Boogaloo, or Tougher Than Honey, or Honey 3:Jessica Alba Drops The "No Nudity" Clause.
Admittedly, I probably would have laughed, because I'm an evil bastard. Assuming the pratfall didn't involve spurting blood or permanent nerve damage. I'm such the humanitarian.
Personally, I'm waiting for Honey 2:Electric Boogaloo, or Tougher Than Honey, or Honey 3:Jessica Alba Drops The "No Nudity" Clause.
marymary:
hahahahaha hip hop dancer! haha
Z's Ginganterrific Coming out Part-ay!
Let today be remembered as the day I became an official member and subsequent leader of Queer Nation. I'm talking real gay here too, not the ironic "geigh" that became slightly popular on SG. I'm talking about being on permantent active duty on the Glory Hole Patrol. Allow me to cast light on this by using the timeless method of...
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Let today be remembered as the day I became an official member and subsequent leader of Queer Nation. I'm talking real gay here too, not the ironic "geigh" that became slightly popular on SG. I'm talking about being on permantent active duty on the Glory Hole Patrol. Allow me to cast light on this by using the timeless method of...
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VIEW 25 of 43 COMMENTS
sinamen:
Awe, you sexy cock-slinger you. Keep it nice before those domestic violence stats get all hiked up.
That goes for both pieces of bread in this love sandwich...
And salad tossing? I don't even know what you mean. Do I need to look closer?
Miss you Ass
That goes for both pieces of bread in this love sandwich...
And salad tossing? I don't even know what you mean. Do I need to look closer?
Miss you Ass
johnnyfive:
cool. i've never really seen anyone come out of the closet. it's like watching mutual ohmaha's wild kingdom.
good luck with the new lifestyle.
good luck with the new lifestyle.
Things I would do if I didn't have to work
- Draw elaborate pictures of ninjas fighting their way through one trap and moster laden room after another. It is my intention that these pictures would connect to form a single awesome dungeon.
- Write, film, and star in groundbreaking pornography that changed the way of the old guard by completely getting rid of the...
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- Draw elaborate pictures of ninjas fighting their way through one trap and moster laden room after another. It is my intention that these pictures would connect to form a single awesome dungeon.
- Write, film, and star in groundbreaking pornography that changed the way of the old guard by completely getting rid of the...
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VIEW 27 of 27 COMMENTS
joshof13thfloor:
Hey man, just for the record all that bullshit i was spouting your way yesterday on the boards was exactly that...bullshit.
I just like to fuck about and tell stupid jokes. It was nothing personal and if i offended you then i apologize.
I just wanna be straight about everything. S'cool?
I just like to fuck about and tell stupid jokes. It was nothing personal and if i offended you then i apologize.
I just wanna be straight about everything. S'cool?
andyass:
I'll live in my 6ft dream world, you live in yours.
ps. I could havbe told you like a year ago that you wern't cool anymore.
ps. I could havbe told you like a year ago that you wern't cool anymore.
TEENAGERS ARE FUCKING DUMBASSES: PART DUEX
When I was a kid and still lived at my parents house, my mom swore vengence on me. She use to say that when I had my own place, she was going to come over and dump Koo-Aid all over the place to see how I liked it. Well, the time of reckoning is at hand and the wheels...
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When I was a kid and still lived at my parents house, my mom swore vengence on me. She use to say that when I had my own place, she was going to come over and dump Koo-Aid all over the place to see how I liked it. Well, the time of reckoning is at hand and the wheels...
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VIEW 26 of 26 COMMENTS
kikka:
i must admit. your taxation point made me aware of this phenomenon of the US.
so thank you.
kikka, the naive alien.
so thank you.
kikka, the naive alien.
seth0067:
Yo Z. Checked the party pics from Friday - man, I totally have that Illig shirt in black. Great minds do indeed think alike. You keep condoms in the shoulder pockets also?
When I first came to this site, I didn't have anything but a bag full of sass and a nutsack full of mean streak. I just ended my marriage and I was looking for the fastest way to people's bad side because I got off on it for some reason. Nothing's really changed, but I have unexpectedly met some people that are all kinds of...
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VIEW 25 of 31 COMMENTS
wraith7000:
Tryin' to pick up chicks with my dix? Silly rabbit, dix are for kids...i mean..wait..oh..yeah, I mean..no..or maybe sometimes yeah...I'm doomed 
beatrice:
are you dying or something? 12 steps? and i was *trying* to be mysterious. i added pics. now i guess i'm real, if not a tad more boring.
BLACK RAGE: PART II
I swear I don't think I'm black.
My family is fucking hardcore. Allow me to provide a little background into this statement before I jump into the events of this weekend.
My dad moved to my hometown during a time when they were just discovering black people in that area. This made him one of about eight other black residents in...
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I swear I don't think I'm black.
My family is fucking hardcore. Allow me to provide a little background into this statement before I jump into the events of this weekend.
My dad moved to my hometown during a time when they were just discovering black people in that area. This made him one of about eight other black residents in...
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VIEW 23 of 23 COMMENTS
saintbrat:
My old man always said, son, you may get bigger than I am, stronger than, I am, or richer than I am, just remember, son, I love you but, you will NEVER be as MOTHERFUCKING MEAN as I am.
Dads RULE!
Dads RULE!
helm:
My wife is black. So ha, I showed you all!!!
Or something.
Or something.
VANILLA SLICE
Whitey Saves Us Again!
Ever since the inexplicable race cleansing of the Middle Eastern born Jesus Christ, the entertainment industry has continuously paid homage to the one golden truth: for every lower race incabable of saving themselves from danger, there is one white savior waiting to show them the true way of their people. In a move that is admittedly shallow, yet totally...
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Whitey Saves Us Again!
Ever since the inexplicable race cleansing of the Middle Eastern born Jesus Christ, the entertainment industry has continuously paid homage to the one golden truth: for every lower race incabable of saving themselves from danger, there is one white savior waiting to show them the true way of their people. In a move that is admittedly shallow, yet totally...
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VIEW 20 of 20 COMMENTS
themadking:
Hey, for the record, Dances With Wolves wasn't about Kevin Costner saving anyone. It was about him realizing that beating up on the poor, ignorant injuns was bad, but then further realizing that if he wasn't doing it someone else would. Then... You know, I guess I don't remember how that one ends. So, you're probably right. Nevermind.
richiedagger:
hahahaha....Jocko McTouchdown.
thats beautiful im writing that one down.
thats beautiful im writing that one down.
Some people out there (*cough* girls *cough*) tend to ask me why ninjas are so popular with boys between the ages 20-28. So as yet another public service to my beloved species, I present:
The History of the Ninja: 1500 A.D. to Now A.D. Why Are They So Rad?
15?? - About five hundred years ago, ninjas roamed the land free and wild. They ruled...
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The History of the Ninja: 1500 A.D. to Now A.D. Why Are They So Rad?
15?? - About five hundred years ago, ninjas roamed the land free and wild. They ruled...
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VIEW 25 of 25 COMMENTS
seth0067:
i need to go back and read all your stuff when you have time.
we're talking about an early happy hour tomorrow - Thursday - what do yoiu think?
we're talking about an early happy hour tomorrow - Thursday - what do yoiu think?
jonasthewhale:
seriously dude, I had to hold my belly when I read that shizzle
International Male. The new band from some local Colorado boys who moved to New York like the rest of us has come. If you are one of the fifty people who ever listened to Warlock Pinchers or Foreskin 500, give my boys in International Male a try. How can you go wrong with lyrics like these?
Hotel Chelsea:
"They think that we're cool
Cause...
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Hotel Chelsea:
"They think that we're cool
Cause...
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VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
azura:
I'd hope so. They're girly undies! 
clara:
You're ok with me.
nigga, you betta start responding to ma advances!!! what, you don't looooove anymo'?