Airing Out My Vagina
I just realized the other day that I spend more time telling you how much of a pain in the ass my brother is than I spend telling you how awesome he is. So in order to rectify this unjustifiable lack of props, I'm going to break down the ways in which my brother is better than yours. This is more for me than anyone else, so any bitching about how unfunny it is will not be heard over the sound of my brother and I high-fiving in your fucking face.
- Despite all the problems I have with him, he is probably the furthest thing from a typical teen I have ever seen. Typical teens are usually withdrawn, moody, untrustworthy little shits. My brother, on the other hand, can hold an excellent conversation, his permanent mood is "cool", and he almost never lies (although sometimes I wish he would given some of the crazy shit he's been honest about).
- No matter how much he does the things I continually ask him not to do (having sex with potentially crazy and definitely underage girls on my bed for example), he never shrimps on the things he's actually suppose to do. He's well aware of what needs to be done and that he's going to be the only one around to do it. He's also aware that when I lived alone, none of that shit needed to be done anyway. He knows the impact his presence has on my life and he does everything in his power to compensate. That's a lot more than I can say about most of the grown-ups I've lived with.
- He's only sixteen years old yet he has more control over his own fate than most adults. He didn't like the options he was presented with back home so he fucking did something about it, regardless of the difficulties he might possibly face or the amount of personal privacy it was going to cost me.
- The little bugger can definitely throw down. Yes it saddens me that so many people today still engage in meaningless physical violence. But right now it's a fact of life for these kids. Another fact of life is that my brother will kick your ass if you're so inclined. Since he's been in NY, he's been in three fights with a total of nine people. He didn't start any of them, but he sure as hell ended them. Call me an insensitive macho asshole, but that makes me proud.
In conclusion, here's a picture* of us engaging in the manly art of sleeping after Thanksgiving dinner. The blurriness is to help you understand what the world looks like through proud tears.
*Yes, that is a bag of beef jerky sitting on my lap.
I just realized the other day that I spend more time telling you how much of a pain in the ass my brother is than I spend telling you how awesome he is. So in order to rectify this unjustifiable lack of props, I'm going to break down the ways in which my brother is better than yours. This is more for me than anyone else, so any bitching about how unfunny it is will not be heard over the sound of my brother and I high-fiving in your fucking face.
- Despite all the problems I have with him, he is probably the furthest thing from a typical teen I have ever seen. Typical teens are usually withdrawn, moody, untrustworthy little shits. My brother, on the other hand, can hold an excellent conversation, his permanent mood is "cool", and he almost never lies (although sometimes I wish he would given some of the crazy shit he's been honest about).
- No matter how much he does the things I continually ask him not to do (having sex with potentially crazy and definitely underage girls on my bed for example), he never shrimps on the things he's actually suppose to do. He's well aware of what needs to be done and that he's going to be the only one around to do it. He's also aware that when I lived alone, none of that shit needed to be done anyway. He knows the impact his presence has on my life and he does everything in his power to compensate. That's a lot more than I can say about most of the grown-ups I've lived with.
- He's only sixteen years old yet he has more control over his own fate than most adults. He didn't like the options he was presented with back home so he fucking did something about it, regardless of the difficulties he might possibly face or the amount of personal privacy it was going to cost me.
- The little bugger can definitely throw down. Yes it saddens me that so many people today still engage in meaningless physical violence. But right now it's a fact of life for these kids. Another fact of life is that my brother will kick your ass if you're so inclined. Since he's been in NY, he's been in three fights with a total of nine people. He didn't start any of them, but he sure as hell ended them. Call me an insensitive macho asshole, but that makes me proud.
In conclusion, here's a picture* of us engaging in the manly art of sleeping after Thanksgiving dinner. The blurriness is to help you understand what the world looks like through proud tears.
*Yes, that is a bag of beef jerky sitting on my lap.
VIEW 25 of 50 COMMENTS
clara:
Thanks for the birthday greeting. I choose dog catcher. 
wraith7000:
...wait, I'm the younger brother..but I rule and my brother's dead, so I guess it evens out 