unnecessaryz

Finally, after years of dreaming, someone has recognized my potential as a hired thug. There's a company out there that's owed us money in the six figure range for too long, and it's my job to get it. Telephone negotiations have failed, and playing it cool has gotten us nowhere. Tomorrow, after lunch, I leave my office to visit them, and I don't come back until I've got the cheese.

I'm not sure how I landed this job, but I'm pretty sure it has something to do with our inter-company Ultimate Fighting Challenge, of which I am the current champion. The only bad thing about that is I'm not the scariest looking guy that works here. I only won the company UFC through a superior blend of speed and technique, not because I intimidated anyone into forfeiting. That being the case, I think my only option for getting the money is to evoke fear through the ancient art of trashing their office in a blind rage. I hope it goes something like this little script I've written in my head:

Receptionist: Well hello! I'm so excited to finally meet someone from your company!

Me: Really? You don't seem too excited.

Receptionist: Well, I'm just a little surprised. No one told me you were coming.

Me: Why would they? I didn't tell anyone I was coming.

Receptionist: I see. Well...what can I do for you?

Me: I just wanted to have a look at your operations. You've got a lot of nice things here. Like this all-in-one fax/copier. Ooops. Clumsy me. I didn't mean to hoist it over my head and hurl it to the ground like that.

And so on.

This last weekend was pretty awesome. I met and subsequently got loaded with Lemonkid and Siv. Then we all spent a lovely Saturday morning staring at plates of delicious food that we had no hope of keeping down. Hangovers rule!