I'm too what???
So I went to the audition for that VH1 dating show. My original plan was to show up in my fully developed ninja personality, but I decided against it at the last second. It wasn't for the lack of balls or anything, I just wasn't feeling the crowd. That kind of humor relies upon the ignorance of the intended target, and in a room full of film school graduates who probably have the same sense of humor that I do, I would have just ended up being their circus clown. I do compare myself to one of those mildly entertaining drunk hobos, but never a clown.
So basically they were looking for the kind of socially inept young man who's lifestyle only includes the word "pussy" when someone is calling him one. I may not be Admiral AssParty, but compared to that description, I'm a one man panty-raid. I think they noticed that as soon as I walked into the room though since I didn't reek of Cheetos and shame.
The show itself is suppose to be less reality TV, more documentary. It's about the above described loser trying to get laid while seeking advice from his "pal", a bodiless image on a teleprompter who used to be lame but now has all the moves. It was this same teleprompter hologram that interviewed me.
Here's some excerpts from my audition.
Guy: "So, are you in a relationship?"
Me: "No way."
Guy: "But it says you are in your profile."
Me: "Yeah, but it also says I burnt down a small village in exchange for gold, so I wouldn't put much stock in what you read there."
Guy: "When was the last time you had sex?"
Me: "Oh man. Like, months ago."
Guy: "Really? I don't know. You seem like you know what you're doing."
Me: "Yeah, but I have really high standards, and I just can't seem to score with the really hot chicks. You know what I'm talking about."
Guy: "What's wrong with the hot chicks?"
Me: "They just don't get my sense of humor. It's too subtle, and I think most hot chicks are typically pretty stupid. Am I right or what?"
Guy: "Well, all the hot chicks here today think you're pretty handsome."
Me: "Oh yeah? Can they see me right now?"
Guy: "Uh huh."
Me: "Hey there." *winks* "Rrrrarrrr."
Guy: "So, do you have any friends with no game that might be good for our show? Because I think you're a little too smooth."
Me: "What's up with these sandwiches? Can I have one?"
Guy: "Yeah, just one."
So anyway, go and help out the future home of most of my comedic efforts.
http://www.commamag.com/
So I went to the audition for that VH1 dating show. My original plan was to show up in my fully developed ninja personality, but I decided against it at the last second. It wasn't for the lack of balls or anything, I just wasn't feeling the crowd. That kind of humor relies upon the ignorance of the intended target, and in a room full of film school graduates who probably have the same sense of humor that I do, I would have just ended up being their circus clown. I do compare myself to one of those mildly entertaining drunk hobos, but never a clown.
So basically they were looking for the kind of socially inept young man who's lifestyle only includes the word "pussy" when someone is calling him one. I may not be Admiral AssParty, but compared to that description, I'm a one man panty-raid. I think they noticed that as soon as I walked into the room though since I didn't reek of Cheetos and shame.
The show itself is suppose to be less reality TV, more documentary. It's about the above described loser trying to get laid while seeking advice from his "pal", a bodiless image on a teleprompter who used to be lame but now has all the moves. It was this same teleprompter hologram that interviewed me.
Here's some excerpts from my audition.
Guy: "So, are you in a relationship?"
Me: "No way."
Guy: "But it says you are in your profile."
Me: "Yeah, but it also says I burnt down a small village in exchange for gold, so I wouldn't put much stock in what you read there."
Guy: "When was the last time you had sex?"
Me: "Oh man. Like, months ago."
Guy: "Really? I don't know. You seem like you know what you're doing."
Me: "Yeah, but I have really high standards, and I just can't seem to score with the really hot chicks. You know what I'm talking about."
Guy: "What's wrong with the hot chicks?"
Me: "They just don't get my sense of humor. It's too subtle, and I think most hot chicks are typically pretty stupid. Am I right or what?"
Guy: "Well, all the hot chicks here today think you're pretty handsome."
Me: "Oh yeah? Can they see me right now?"
Guy: "Uh huh."
Me: "Hey there." *winks* "Rrrrarrrr."
Guy: "So, do you have any friends with no game that might be good for our show? Because I think you're a little too smooth."
Me: "What's up with these sandwiches? Can I have one?"
Guy: "Yeah, just one."
So anyway, go and help out the future home of most of my comedic efforts.
http://www.commamag.com/
VIEW 25 of 29 COMMENTS
go for it.