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unnecessaryz

Member Since 2003

Followers 125 Following 78

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Tuesday Dec 02, 2003

Dec 2, 2003
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Z's Ginganterrific Coming out Part-ay!

Let today be remembered as the day I became an official member and subsequent leader of Queer Nation. I'm talking real gay here too, not the ironic "geigh" that became slightly popular on SG. I'm talking about being on permantent active duty on the Glory Hole Patrol. Allow me to cast light on this by using the timeless method of super hero origins. The idea occured to me a couple of nights ago. I was spending some time with my feminine side after playing a game of the impossibly girlie Final Fantasy X-2 for the Playstation and thinking of new ways to make people cry in order to fuel my automatic joke machine with their tears. As I sat there slowly touching myself while looking at a picture of my own penis, I had an epiphany: gay guys totally get away with everything. Almost every gay guy I ever knew could say things ten times raunchier than I ever did in situations twenty times more inappropriate and everyone would just shrug and laugh because he was that crazy gay guy who loves dicks. They get away with touching girls in places no vagina lover would ever dare approach, and they even get to be racist since they're the lowest you can get on the international hate crime radar. They're even lower than blacks! Whoa, don't get mad. Remember, I'm gay! The crazy words in my mouth are sometimes spoken through several inches of dick!

Now all that I ask from the rest of you, my friends, is that you kindly keep to yourself the fact that I'm still regulating local vaginas like I had a high paying job with benenfits at Local Vagina Regulators, Inc. You may start to see my normally rad-tacular comments take on a slightly colorful tone in the near future. And by colorful, I'm talking about the rainbow, sister. Nothing over the top, just some ambiguous referencing to the taste of cock or what it's like to get anally annihilated for the first time. I'm positive I won't have trouble finding a place with the latter seeing as a search for anal on these boards yields computer freezing results. My ultimate goal is to say whatever I want and still be a comedic hero, and I think John Q. CumSwallower can provide me with the right tools.

Now, I'd like to try a test to make sure you guys keep mum on my ruse. When I say "Hey, mister. You have a beautiful smile. Mind if I decorate it with my semen?" You say "Oh, Mr. Token Gay Guy, I'll never be as gay as you!" Simple enough, right? Good luck.

Ass + ARRR!!! = the new me!

PS - On a relevant note, go say hi to my friend andyass from back home. He's funnier than most of you deserve.
VIEW 25 of 43 COMMENTS
sinamen:
Awe, you sexy cock-slinger you. Keep it nice before those domestic violence stats get all hiked up.
kiss
That goes for both pieces of bread in this love sandwich...

And salad tossing? I don't even know what you mean. Do I need to look closer?

Miss you AssARRR!!!
Dec 10, 2003
johnnyfive:
cool. i've never really seen anyone come out of the closet. it's like watching mutual ohmaha's wild kingdom.
good luck with the new lifestyle.
Dec 10, 2003

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