Tomorrow Adventures with Crash Bangin'!: Part II: Hyper Nuclear Boogaloo
In a surprise move by our loyal audience, Crash Bangin's fate has been cruelly guided toward an inevitable collision course with his former wife, The X! When we last left our intergalactic hero, he just finished a last minute "meeting" with some very nasty business men, courtesy of The Ad Execu-Tor!
Crash: Well, Receptotron, that was an unusually invigorating meeting, wouldn't you say?
Receptotron: *Whizz Whirr* Yes, radtomic one. You make me feel as if I were seventeen hundred years old once again.
Crash: Oh Receptotron, you're only saying that because I programmed you to.
Receptotron: ...Correct *Bzzt*
Crash: Enough apple polishing you. I think I would enjoy hearing the final minutes of the meeting we just had. What do you say old chum?
Receptotron: Initiating playback..."Sweet mother of God! What are you doing to me Crash Bangin'?! Not the...not the Hyper Trash Atomizer Jr! I...my new tie! I think I'm going to lose my power lunch."
Crash: Haha, yes. Good times. At any rate, I should be off. After all, The X doesn't like to be kept waiting...on second thought, fuck that devil seed swallowing trick. Pencil me in for a last minute meeting with your "client services" port hole, Receptotron.
Receptotron: *Shudder* I am robo-sad.
Some time later...
The X sits at a table in the Luner Cafe. Suddenly, Crash savagely explodes onto the scene!
Crash: You're lucky you're getting a tip at all! My planet has done more than enough for your kind! Why don't you go back to Neptune where they put up with that kind of behavior, crappy foreigner!
Cab Driver: Glub, glub glub!
Crash: I'm not racist. That's for humans, and I love them, fish lips. Get out of my site before I throw up in my own mouth. Ah, The X. How are you?
The X: Not as good as I was THREE HOURS AGO!!! You know I hate waiting!
Crash: Heh. Yes, I know.
The X: Enough small talk. Give me fucking cash!
Crash: I don't follow. Do you want cash for fucking, or are you just being rude? I can never tell.
The X: Doesn't matter to me. What about you? Fuck anyone yet? I hope so, sorry ass mother fucker.
Crash: Whoa, whoa. Slow down there, Chief Speaks Through Dick. Why don't you try not speaking through a cloud of cock breath for a change. Now I'm covered in man-cake batter. And I'm being nice, assuming you still fuck humans.
The X: Nice. Whatever, you know you'll never find anyone as hot as me.
Crash: Hmph. Doesn't matter. Being with you was like having a broken version of the most advanced video game system. What good does it do me if I can't play it?
The X: You know, I'm having trouble understanding you too. Words sound garbled with a mouth full of LASER!
Blast! The X has betrayed our hero and fired upon him in a most devious twist of unstoppable bitchiness!
Crash: Holy fucking super nova! I'm trying to be as mature as I can about this whole situation! What the hell is wrong with you, psycho?!
The X: Nothing, I just hate you. Wasn't that obvious from the day you said "I do"? Now, give me your fucking cash. This is a stick up...baby dick.
Crash: That's it. I've tried to be as nice as any man not touched by the hand of crazy bitch, but you've gone too far. Time to put that temper on ice...permanently.
Whoa, folks! Hell hath no fury like a woman deprived of cash! What fate awaits our hero in our next instalment?
A) Does Crash Bangin' try to resolve the situation as peacefully as possible, with minimum lasers shed?
B) Or does he enter the final showdown, guns blazing, checkbook hidden?
In a surprise move by our loyal audience, Crash Bangin's fate has been cruelly guided toward an inevitable collision course with his former wife, The X! When we last left our intergalactic hero, he just finished a last minute "meeting" with some very nasty business men, courtesy of The Ad Execu-Tor!
Crash: Well, Receptotron, that was an unusually invigorating meeting, wouldn't you say?
Receptotron: *Whizz Whirr* Yes, radtomic one. You make me feel as if I were seventeen hundred years old once again.
Crash: Oh Receptotron, you're only saying that because I programmed you to.
Receptotron: ...Correct *Bzzt*
Crash: Enough apple polishing you. I think I would enjoy hearing the final minutes of the meeting we just had. What do you say old chum?
Receptotron: Initiating playback..."Sweet mother of God! What are you doing to me Crash Bangin'?! Not the...not the Hyper Trash Atomizer Jr! I...my new tie! I think I'm going to lose my power lunch."
Crash: Haha, yes. Good times. At any rate, I should be off. After all, The X doesn't like to be kept waiting...on second thought, fuck that devil seed swallowing trick. Pencil me in for a last minute meeting with your "client services" port hole, Receptotron.
Receptotron: *Shudder* I am robo-sad.
Some time later...
The X sits at a table in the Luner Cafe. Suddenly, Crash savagely explodes onto the scene!
Crash: You're lucky you're getting a tip at all! My planet has done more than enough for your kind! Why don't you go back to Neptune where they put up with that kind of behavior, crappy foreigner!
Cab Driver: Glub, glub glub!
Crash: I'm not racist. That's for humans, and I love them, fish lips. Get out of my site before I throw up in my own mouth. Ah, The X. How are you?
The X: Not as good as I was THREE HOURS AGO!!! You know I hate waiting!
Crash: Heh. Yes, I know.
The X: Enough small talk. Give me fucking cash!
Crash: I don't follow. Do you want cash for fucking, or are you just being rude? I can never tell.
The X: Doesn't matter to me. What about you? Fuck anyone yet? I hope so, sorry ass mother fucker.
Crash: Whoa, whoa. Slow down there, Chief Speaks Through Dick. Why don't you try not speaking through a cloud of cock breath for a change. Now I'm covered in man-cake batter. And I'm being nice, assuming you still fuck humans.
The X: Nice. Whatever, you know you'll never find anyone as hot as me.
Crash: Hmph. Doesn't matter. Being with you was like having a broken version of the most advanced video game system. What good does it do me if I can't play it?
The X: You know, I'm having trouble understanding you too. Words sound garbled with a mouth full of LASER!
Blast! The X has betrayed our hero and fired upon him in a most devious twist of unstoppable bitchiness!
Crash: Holy fucking super nova! I'm trying to be as mature as I can about this whole situation! What the hell is wrong with you, psycho?!
The X: Nothing, I just hate you. Wasn't that obvious from the day you said "I do"? Now, give me your fucking cash. This is a stick up...baby dick.
Crash: That's it. I've tried to be as nice as any man not touched by the hand of crazy bitch, but you've gone too far. Time to put that temper on ice...permanently.
Whoa, folks! Hell hath no fury like a woman deprived of cash! What fate awaits our hero in our next instalment?
A) Does Crash Bangin' try to resolve the situation as peacefully as possible, with minimum lasers shed?
B) Or does he enter the final showdown, guns blazing, checkbook hidden?
VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
oh, and yes, chris "royale" regis got shot in the back by the police, but i knew you was kiddin' and i aint that sensitive. i was fuckin wit' ya!
oh by the way...ill kill anyone for 81 dollars. just ummm throwing that out there, incase theres somebody that you have a lot of pent up anger against.