unnecessaryz

My sleep schedule has returned to normal. I can get up and freely urinate whenever I want to. I remember to eat again. What could have caused those very basic and very essential elements of human survival to become thrown into chaos in the first place? I've just freed myself from the invisible chains of a fictinal reality not unlike that stupid movie with that stupid guy. Now that my time spent trapped in the digital realm of Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic has more or less come to an end, I think I am finally at liberty to speak of my experiences. Most of those being me completely unable to put a controller down for the first time since I was twelve. This game had me by the god damn balls harder than any woman ever has. Why? Besides being fantastic in every way (including the decision to concetrate exclusively on Stars Wars' more badass alien species and completely ignoring the sickeningly cute or flat out annoying ones), it gives you the chance to be bad. Really bad. With kick ass powers. This is different than other anti-hero games where crime doesn't advance much further than punching hookers with the grill of your car. Being bad in Star Wars is a whole new kind of bad. Sure the game gives you the chance to be good, and that was fun too, but imagine this: I just convinced a widow to hand over the last vestige of her husband's legacy for nothing with my mind powers, sold it for almost nothing, then commited genocide on the proud Sand People because they were standing in the way of technological progress. Let me just say now that I would never take advantage of a widow in any way (except physically) and I would definitely never participate in alien genocide, let alone helm it. But I can in this game, and the only punishment I receive is a Yoda type guy not liking me anymore. That certainly doesn't decrease my ability to shock the hell out of people with incredible dark powers. In fact, it increases it. That's what's great. If you choose to be evil, you get rewarded the equivalent of evil currency: the ability to exact your dark wrath with as little physical or mental strain on you as possible. I do understand that beating this game with the side of evil is basically beating this game on easy, but it's so much more satisfying. You roll like a true pimp with more cash than a goodie-two-shoes could ever hope to have since they're too busy giving it all away to sick people or whatever it is those pussies do. Come to think of it, everything about being dark is cooler. Clothes: dapper. Gear: hype. Complexion: heroine chic. But just how bad can you get you ask? Let's just say that out of nine possible teammates, I ended up killing almost half of them in one powerful moment. Refuse my complete acceptance of the dark side will you? Pshaw I say. In the end I learned the exact same leason I learn at the end of every video game I play: I'm way better at saving fictional worlds than I'll ever be at saving the real world. Seriously, I don't even recylce anymore.

On another note, a lot more bloodshed could have been avoided if someone told me Breakin' was out on DVD sooner. Electro Rock has rekindled my passion for sorting out disputes in a non-violent way: break fighting.