unnecessaryz

"CLOWN-DOME"
One Man Enters, One Man Gets The Shit Kicked Out of Him

I am an unwelcome element in the city of New York. I don't take myself seriusly enough to live here and people are beginning to notice. It's like trying to pretend to be a body snatcher long enough to get where I'm going, but when I run into someone that I think is on my side, they point and shriek, the telltale body snatcher warning that says "you are about to be turned into burger by others like me." When you talk to someone from NYC, they usually fail to mention the new New York. The pussified New York. When the old mayor, portrayed by 'Vampires' James Woods, made all the crime magically disappear, it gave people moving to the city a chance to do something other than be afraid. Namely, it gave them the chance to suck hard. Never before has being a rat-soup eating honkey mother fucker been so easy. But this security comes at a price. It cost us our irony. What kind of place has the world become when a man can't even air guitar in the middle of a dance floor to elicit a laugh from his friends without some sheltered hipster tapping him on the shoulder and asking him to stop because she's embarrassed? The sad thing being, and hold on to your fucking pants because they might just blow off, she wasn't even the one air guitaring. And what kind of person pays thirty dollars for credits so they can email someone and tell them that their ninja dating profile is a sign of disrespect to the online dating community? I didn't know that my experiment in making people I've never met maybe laugh was an all too real exercise in making the doves cry. Hopefully there was a brutally honest friend near this clown that snatched them by the collar and smacked them upside their idiot head, but that's unlikely to happen since they live in a city that supports that kind of behavior. I still like this place, don't get me wrong, but seriously Williamsburg, you're pushing it. Stay the fuck away from me. And that's a little more about me. Hi!