So I figured I'd update my journal since my birthday is coming up. Having that little mutant balloon by my name will prompt the three or so people who may or may not actually read my journal to leave their kind regards, and it would be rude of me to have some sob story about something that happened like, seven years ago or whatever.
Well, I've had a lot more birthdays on this site than I thought I would. It's already been two years since I
experienced astrologicaly activated super powers for a day during my first one here. I honestly thought I would have been zotted by now, but if there's one thing I've learned, it's that there's a difference between being annoying and being entertainingly annoying. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, try listing all the differences between me and Carrot Top, and at the end of the list, decide which one of us you'd rather have sex with. Most of you will have probably picked me, and that makes most of you totally gay. Haha! Hey everybody! Look at the homos!
Anyway, I guess I'll list a few things I'm thankful for, since I'm still alive and it continues to be a good thing.
- Fallout Boy: If any of you know anything about me, it's that I love crap. The more money that went into making it, the better. Enter this shit band. Their videos kick fucking ass and I bet my manginity that people will look at them ten years from now the same way we look at Cool as Ice. Their newest video is a short film about how awesome they are at hunting vampires. Also, one of them is a vampire, and I think he's hoping that his complex inner-struggle is going to make us want to do him. I'm really glad that they seem to have taken the video so seriously. It's as if they started a band simply as a way to showcase their vampire hunting abilities and terrible acting skills. If it was ironic, it would have sucked. But the fact that they apparently put so much of themselves into the characters' backgrounds and personalities makes it a special kind of failure.
- MMA (mixed martial arts): I'm really glad that after spending all day surrounded by people I want to punch and choke, I have a place to go where I actually get to punch and choke people. This and masturbation are the only things keeping me on the better side of the law. I'm also glad that the uninitiated think that the participants look like they're fucking. It keeps idiots from becoming involved in and subsequently ruining my sport. On a related note, I'm also thankful for the triangle choke. Nothing says "fuck you" like putting someone to sleep with mostly your crotch.
- My brothers: Never before has a family as a whole been so groomed to cock-block. We all have something different to offer, but rest assured, at least one of us has the potential to make any women forget that you ever existed. My military brother is visiting me for my birthday, so look out for news related to the east coast being rocked right the fuck off the continent.
- Hot women: I love them. They will forever be attached to any and all downfalls I may experience in life, but god knows it's worth it. Special shout out to this fine motha' fucka' right here. On a related note; stop hitting on my girlfriend just because she's reading The Ethical Slut. It doesn't mean she's going to automatically have sex with you, and if your creepy, possibly famous ass didn't stand a chance when she was single, what chance do you think you have against me? Here's a hint: my profile pictures isn't a picture of me, it's a picture of my penis in a shirt and tie.
Well, I've had a lot more birthdays on this site than I thought I would. It's already been two years since I
experienced astrologicaly activated super powers for a day during my first one here. I honestly thought I would have been zotted by now, but if there's one thing I've learned, it's that there's a difference between being annoying and being entertainingly annoying. If you don't understand what I'm talking about, try listing all the differences between me and Carrot Top, and at the end of the list, decide which one of us you'd rather have sex with. Most of you will have probably picked me, and that makes most of you totally gay. Haha! Hey everybody! Look at the homos!
Anyway, I guess I'll list a few things I'm thankful for, since I'm still alive and it continues to be a good thing.
- Fallout Boy: If any of you know anything about me, it's that I love crap. The more money that went into making it, the better. Enter this shit band. Their videos kick fucking ass and I bet my manginity that people will look at them ten years from now the same way we look at Cool as Ice. Their newest video is a short film about how awesome they are at hunting vampires. Also, one of them is a vampire, and I think he's hoping that his complex inner-struggle is going to make us want to do him. I'm really glad that they seem to have taken the video so seriously. It's as if they started a band simply as a way to showcase their vampire hunting abilities and terrible acting skills. If it was ironic, it would have sucked. But the fact that they apparently put so much of themselves into the characters' backgrounds and personalities makes it a special kind of failure.
- MMA (mixed martial arts): I'm really glad that after spending all day surrounded by people I want to punch and choke, I have a place to go where I actually get to punch and choke people. This and masturbation are the only things keeping me on the better side of the law. I'm also glad that the uninitiated think that the participants look like they're fucking. It keeps idiots from becoming involved in and subsequently ruining my sport. On a related note, I'm also thankful for the triangle choke. Nothing says "fuck you" like putting someone to sleep with mostly your crotch.
- My brothers: Never before has a family as a whole been so groomed to cock-block. We all have something different to offer, but rest assured, at least one of us has the potential to make any women forget that you ever existed. My military brother is visiting me for my birthday, so look out for news related to the east coast being rocked right the fuck off the continent.
- Hot women: I love them. They will forever be attached to any and all downfalls I may experience in life, but god knows it's worth it. Special shout out to this fine motha' fucka' right here. On a related note; stop hitting on my girlfriend just because she's reading The Ethical Slut. It doesn't mean she's going to automatically have sex with you, and if your creepy, possibly famous ass didn't stand a chance when she was single, what chance do you think you have against me? Here's a hint: my profile pictures isn't a picture of me, it's a picture of my penis in a shirt and tie.
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Maybe you should START getting stoned and put a shelf together. Did you ever think about that?