Where do I even try to start to unpack and share...
Dear loyal readers. Thank you. Thank you for your support and quiet encouragement to live life out loud.
Thank you for helping me to understand.
Thank you for your well wishes.
My step-father and i have never really worked.... ever.
he loved his daughters, his daughers hated me and used to tagteam accusations and confermations of actions invented...
my mother worked very hard in a retail job, and by the time her shift was over she was tired of being nice and wanted to vent.
the unit of the family was this....
step-father and daughters, mother and son, mother and step-father.
and the abuse.
i was the only one to receive it from him.
a red headed step-child litterally
now my step-father in his youth got a motercycle and dove out to california to find himself....
bla bla bla
well i mention it because at one point he worked with abused children
hideously horribly PHYSICALLY abused children.
so he never used physical abuse
his weapons of choice were fear and intimidation
big angry yelling full grown man and young child...
fastforward
if you're a follower of my blogs you know the story already
im not gonna go add more tigger warnings so i can rehash it
go read
well so im trying to heal
and my step-father escalates the abuse...
he seems hell bent on committing suicide by picking fight.
i say that not as a threat but fear
the human body is such a fragile thing
and he is in bad shape
but he knows my triggers
and he plays them to keep me manic
and keep me scared
and to keep me isolated
and im tired of being a victem.
My hope is that monday the 6th of febuary or somewhere close to there i will be a texan.
My desination 40 hours away by greyhound.
Corpus Christi.
A new start.
A new life.
an epiphany this morning.
a transition
a new me
I came out.
Hi.
You know me as Notanemoboy.
Im a nonbinary pansexual experimentalist switch regresser. Nice to meet me.
Sat...
Sat...
I think of this Saturday and im filled with anticipation.
I am going to the gay dance club.
I am celebrating
Coming out.
Moving.
Change.
Opportunity.
Growth.
Anyone wanna hit the club?
