Why do I have to find out what is going on with them?
I feel like there is some sort of timer on my curiosity that makes me need to check on the ex.
With every girl I've dated, I felt a need to find out what they were up to after a certain amount of time had passed. Well, with what's-her-name, that time expired a bit over a week ago. Now I can't stop trying to see what she's up to? Is she's dating (she is)? And, if so, who is he (my former roommate's brother and once a very good friend of mine)? What's going on in her life? Is she doing better than me?
I wonder if everyone goes through that. I don't know because it's been true for me but guys tend to suffer alone. I have never talked about this aspect of my heart with anyone so I have no outside input to know if it's normal.
She got her degree in 3 years, and was happy to throw that in my face when the break-up was happening, went on for a Masters and a teaching credential and, like I said, she's now dating one of my former good friends.
Now here I am in Denver with no job, still haven't finished my BA, no friends (well 2), had to give up my cats (they got a good home, but still my heart aches at losing them to someone else - I think that part of that comes from the fact that what's-her-name and I rescued them together and bottle-fed them from 1 week old), over half my stuff is still in storage and I don't feel like I have a "home" to come home to yet.
I think some of the things going on in my head and heart right now could be dealt with rather than being dwelt upon simply if I knew people out here. Now I'm rethinking my pick-up-and-move idea to get away from her and the memories.
Now I just need to figure out how to go make friends when I'm still trying to find my way around town.
I did make it up to Estes Park last weekend and went on the Stanley Hotel's Ghost Tour. That was fun; hopefully I got some good pictures from that. I hadn't taken any pictures in so long.
I wonder if getting out and taking pictures again would even make me feel a bit better.
Hmmm . . .
I gotta find a place to take pictures.
I feel like there is some sort of timer on my curiosity that makes me need to check on the ex.
With every girl I've dated, I felt a need to find out what they were up to after a certain amount of time had passed. Well, with what's-her-name, that time expired a bit over a week ago. Now I can't stop trying to see what she's up to? Is she's dating (she is)? And, if so, who is he (my former roommate's brother and once a very good friend of mine)? What's going on in her life? Is she doing better than me?
I wonder if everyone goes through that. I don't know because it's been true for me but guys tend to suffer alone. I have never talked about this aspect of my heart with anyone so I have no outside input to know if it's normal.
She got her degree in 3 years, and was happy to throw that in my face when the break-up was happening, went on for a Masters and a teaching credential and, like I said, she's now dating one of my former good friends.
Now here I am in Denver with no job, still haven't finished my BA, no friends (well 2), had to give up my cats (they got a good home, but still my heart aches at losing them to someone else - I think that part of that comes from the fact that what's-her-name and I rescued them together and bottle-fed them from 1 week old), over half my stuff is still in storage and I don't feel like I have a "home" to come home to yet.
I think some of the things going on in my head and heart right now could be dealt with rather than being dwelt upon simply if I knew people out here. Now I'm rethinking my pick-up-and-move idea to get away from her and the memories.
Now I just need to figure out how to go make friends when I'm still trying to find my way around town.
I did make it up to Estes Park last weekend and went on the Stanley Hotel's Ghost Tour. That was fun; hopefully I got some good pictures from that. I hadn't taken any pictures in so long.
I wonder if getting out and taking pictures again would even make me feel a bit better.
Hmmm . . .
I gotta find a place to take pictures.
And I really, really, do want her to be happy. It's just that this wondering about what she's doing now came to me when I'm sort of throwing myself a little pity party.
...
Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure that I feel like that any time I wonder about exes . . . except for two. The two I still consider friends. Which is interesting to me now. We had to take time apart but I always knew what was going on with them and with them I was ok with it. Then again. They were not bad break ups . . . painful at the time, but not bad.
Thanks for making me think more, Tore.
I like thinking.