unfunnypunman

January 2nd . . .
a bit random I guess,
but in away I'm hoping that seeing a new number on my calendar will help me realized that time has passed.
In truth I don't actually know how long I'll want to not talk to her. I guess it would all depend on where we stand. I'm just not sure I can handle being around her.
I guess I sort of need a preview of what's to come before I could be around her. I don't really know.
I don't even know if I remember things correctly . . . and I certainly never got her side of the story, nor did I get the side of the story that she told people.
I also have no idea who she is now.
I don't know if I'd want to know her anymore,
and I'm afraid that I won't want to know her anymore . . . and if I don't want to know her . . .
I don't want to know what I'm losing.
I'd rather keep feeling like my love was ripped from my chest since that's what I started
trying to heal from, instead of learning something new and having to go through a new loss all over again and having to try to heal from something totally new in addition to what I'm dealing with now.
I said January 2nd . . . but really, I expect that as time passes . . . I will keep extending the date.