undeserving

do you ever have those times where you look at your music collection (which is entirely too big, but still somehow always missing something) and say, "i'm sick off all of this crap"? yeah, well that's where i'm at. the real drag is that i'm three songs into side B of what is, so far at least, a pretty killer mix tape and i'm pretty hopelessly stuck. i'm set on finishing this thing out though before i do anything else, which is why i'm still sitting here in my underwear shoving cookie dough down my throat at a rate that practically begs for heart disease and diabetes. i should probably ride my bicycle out to the lab later just to try and even the score. oh well... i'm getting caught up on reading a lot of old mitch clem comics if nothing else.

i've been in an exceptionally good mood as of late and i really can't put my finger on why. i'd been seeing this girl for about the last two months, but things were starting to get to a weird point. she was creating distance, i was getting bummed. last week though i swung by her place to pick up my ps2 and was, admittedly, a huge dick. i thanked her for letting me come by and for putting it in a bag for me, wished her luck (she was home sick from work and going to see the doctor the next day), and then left without saying goodbye. i'd hate to say that was it, but since that point i've been more cheery than i've been in quite some time. i know that was being meaner than i should have been, but i've been through this same situation too many times before and let myself get stepped on every single time. i'm sick of it and i sure as hell know my friends are sick of me whining about it. i still really like this girl, but i'm not going to play this game again.

end rant.

so...if you've read this far, thank you.

you know, you and i should get coffee together sometime.