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undersad

Member Since 2003

Followers 13 Following 285

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Sunday May 18, 2003

May 17, 2003
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so this is my first journal entry. i guess i was just waiting for an intresting story to tell, well it really isn't that intresting for me it is actually pretty heart breaking. mostly for the nature of it though i am sure alot of people will think it is kinda of funny.
this is a story about life experiances. how you take them i guess is a pretty good measure of how mature you are up till now. having a girlfriend leave you for someone else is nothing new, at least for me. having a girlfriend leave you for another girl well that is up there in sitcom story life. but it really wasn't funny for me i took it as hard as if it had been a guy she left me for. i am a pretty sickly romantic type. and i fall into emotional relationships maybe too easily. i had been dating this girl for about three months and it was just starting to move past compainship and into a more physical one. i knew from the begining that she was just starting to realize and open up to her own sexuality about being bi, and i was fine with that. we talked about it pretty early on and she assured me that it was puely physical and that she got all the emotional fufilment she needed from me. i would never have a problem with that b/c we are only human and it is a natural urge to be attracted to someone else.
so it goes we went to a party the other night, and a friend of ours was there. she was openly bi and pretty promiscuous. we all kind of joked about it with her. after a few drinks i noticed that my girlfriend was giving her alot of attention but i didn't really have a problem with it. instead of going home the girl whom my girlfriend was flirting with invited us back to her house b/c it was closer and we were pretty drunk. so me my girlfriend another guy and the girl who owned the apartment left and continued the drinking at her house. at about four in the morning me and my girlfriend curled up on the floor together to go to sleep. so this is were the story sucks. when i woke up she was gone i went looking for her and found her nude laying cuddled up topless and with only her under where on with the other girl. i did the cowardly thing and just got my stuff and left. i talked to her latter that afternoon and told her was pretty upset and really din't want to talk right now. this all happened yesterday and i haven't talked to her today.
i know there are a lot of pretty openmined people here on this site, who will probably think i was probably wrong to be mad. but that isn't how my heart works whither it be boy or girl i don't discrimnate between cheating. i know what went on that night she told me everything she did. i still really like her, hell maybe i love her, but i just need to rethink about all of this.
talking about it here is actually pretty damn theraputic. sorry it was pretty long winded and full of spelling and gramatical errors but at 4 in the morning and half a bottle of wine i think i am entitled to it.
but who am i kidding no one will probaly read this anyway.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
freckle:
people 'round here like to read.

you should write journal entries more often. they're "theraputic" smile
May 18, 2003
undersad:
thanks for the comments i don't know if i wrote the journal for people to read it just felt good to get it out.


no i lied pity me hahaha

[Edited on May 18, 2003]

[Edited on May 18, 2003]
May 18, 2003

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