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undeaddesignco

The Womb

Member Since 2011

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Sunday Jan 13, 2013

Jan 13, 2013
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Hey all!
If anybody is reading this:
My SG account will be ending this month. I have decided not to renew my subscription.
I won't be renewing my WOW subscription either...
I've always been too shy, socially awkward, and afraid to just go out and live life.
Now is the time. I've gotta pay off my debts, start saving money, and prepare for the future.
My future.
Most of the time, I thought I'd never have a future. I wasn't sure I'd live to see this year come.
It's here. I'm here.
I'm trying to get better as a human being. Both internally and externally.
Eating better. Exercise. Prayer and meditation. Singing. Writing. Sketching. Planning. Living.
But one thing has always been missing:
Loving.
I have so much love inside of me and no one to give it to...
That's what's killing me now. Not depression. Not self-loathing.
If I can't find someone to love, who will love me for who I am... I'm dead. Life will be completely meaningless.
Worthless. And then my greatest fear will be realized:
I am unlovable. I am not meant to be alive.
Sorry for the downer...
It's just something that's been milling through my mind the past decade or so...
I guess that's it.
Cue Batman outro... Now!

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