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undeaddesignco

The Womb

Member Since 2011

Followers 106 Following 153

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Sunday Jan 13, 2013

Jan 13, 2013
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Hey all!
If anybody is reading this:
My SG account will be ending this month. I have decided not to renew my subscription.
I won't be renewing my WOW subscription either...
I've always been too shy, socially awkward, and afraid to just go out and live life.
Now is the time. I've gotta pay off my debts, start saving money, and prepare for the future.
My future.
Most of the time, I thought I'd never have a future. I wasn't sure I'd live to see this year come.
It's here. I'm here.
I'm trying to get better as a human being. Both internally and externally.
Eating better. Exercise. Prayer and meditation. Singing. Writing. Sketching. Planning. Living.
But one thing has always been missing:
Loving.
I have so much love inside of me and no one to give it to...
That's what's killing me now. Not depression. Not self-loathing.
If I can't find someone to love, who will love me for who I am... I'm dead. Life will be completely meaningless.
Worthless. And then my greatest fear will be realized:
I am unlovable. I am not meant to be alive.
Sorry for the downer...
It's just something that's been milling through my mind the past decade or so...
I guess that's it.
Cue Batman outro... Now!

More Blogs

  • 01.13.13
    0

    Sunday Jan 13, 2013

    Hey all! If anybody is reading this: My SG account will be ending t…
  • 01.11.13
    2

    Friday Jan 11, 2013

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    Friday Jan 11, 2013

    So, today is my day off and I went on a bit of a shopping spree. Well…
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    Thursday Jan 10, 2013

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    Thursday Jan 10, 2013

    I got a love that keeps me waitin' Waitin' Waitin' I'm a lonely bo…
  • 12.04.12
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    Tuesday Dec 04, 2012

    Sorry it's been a while. Not much going on really. Working full-time …
  • 04.04.12
    0

    Wednesday Apr 04, 2012

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  • 04.04.12
    0

    Wednesday Apr 04, 2012

    Alright, alright... I'll post a new blog. <cricket, cricket> …
  • 03.01.12
    1

    Thursday Mar 01, 2012

    Just applied for a job at McDonald's... FML!!!!! -Patrick Undead …
  • 02.20.12
    0

    Monday Feb 20, 2012

    So... What do you want to know about the past week or so? Tuesday (…

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