uncool_hipster

For anyone out there who read my post yesterday I'm feeling a little embarassed. As I re-read it this evening I realized how stupid it sounded. I'm an adult now. This shit shouldn't bug me but it does. There is a basis for what I wrote. I really do think I'm suffering from a bit of an invisibility crisis. I at least think I now know where it stems from. Sure, it goes back to when I was a kid... always felt like the outsider. Sure there are times when I feel like my feelings are belittled or shoved aside when they involve my current relationship. I'm not bothered by that. It's all all minor stuff... everyone feels that way once in a while. So whatever.

Today it hit me what is going on. I've been working the same job for a month now. Ten hours a day... 48 hours a week. I happen to sit beside one of the new compositors that started this week. A little group of so-and-so's came around and the newbe introductions began... by default I was involved just because of the seat where my ass happened to be planted. Then it all became obvious. My boss doesn't even know my name!!! She didn't. I had to remind her of who I was. This is the same woman that hired me. She knew the new guys name... she seemed to have a lot to talk to him about. Not me... I went from my previous job where (although I was not treated well and am glad to be rid of the place) I was still someone of importance. I was the guy in charge. Now i'm in a position where my boss can't even remember my name. That bugs me. Sure there is a lot to be said for being inconspicuous (sp?). I'm not really responsible for too much. That is what I told myself all day. She's picking her favourites. She's dolling out projects... gearing some people up for work and alas, just like when I was a kid... I'm not being picked for the team.