uncommoncold

TO BEGIN:



Well, that certainly made me smile.

AND NOW, FOR SOMETHING COMPLETELY DIFFERENT:

As I was busy mastering the standard service industry stance of leaning on one's elbows across a counter, chin in hand, legs at alternating angles behind one's body, my coworker tossed a bag of frozen peas in my direction. I was looking out the window at the time, watching twilight fade to dark and listening to police sirens go off somewhere on Bay Street. I held my left hand up and caught it smoothly and without a moment's hesitation. I didn't change the direction in which I was looking.

He said, "What the fuck? You weren't even facing me!"

And I ended up using the line, "Well, it's a good thing I'm a ninja, then, isn't it?"

I am totally not a ninja at all. I am downright clumsy, and I'm not anywhere close to lethal. I'm only graceful when nobody's watching. It was funny anyway, though.

Additionally, I must have been covering myself in honey as of late, because there are goddamn creepy flies attempting to latch on to me all over the place. Have I had, "Hit on me; I like sketchy perverts!" written on my back for the past two months or so? However, as a redeeming feature of the evening, my boss's son came in and said, "You look awfully cute today. Like, even more cute than usual. I can't tell what it is. Energy?"

I watched his marble eyes with licorice pupils for traces of creepiness, but didn't find any. "My hair, maybe?"

"No, I don't think so. But I still can't quite place what it is. Just rest easy knowing that I think you're cute."

"Okay."

Flattery will get you everywhere, my dears.

Unless you're a creep- in which case, kindly stay the fuck away from me.

I like you kids, though. You're all pixelated and such. It's great.

Oh, yeah. Have I shown you these already? Everyone likes pictures..

Over my father's shoulder on the Cape Breton trail:


Shadows of the afternoon:


Since pretty much everything else in this entry is as vain as can be, I should mention that I don't know what to do with my hair. It's at an awkward stage between being really short and long enough to consider "long", and I just want it to look hot all the time. Such decisions I have to make! Life's really, really tough; I assure you.

I've decided that I refuse to be sad in this world. There's enough misery going around, and I don't see any reason why I should add to it. I can be sunshine. I can be light. I can be everything.