Instead of going out tonight to fulfill my Wednesday night drunkfest routine, I stayed in, typed up notes for my Greek Democracy class, and played video games with Colin and Laura.
Solon and Cleisthenes and Pericles, oh my!
I just don't know what to do with myself.
I've been on the internet less lately, and it's good for me. Keeps me alive and real and less.. pixelated. I don't want to be an idea. I don't want to be an abstract. When I go grey sometime next month, I probably ought to stay that way. It's not like I really participate on here, anyway. (Translation: the boards intimidate me. I'm not all that funny, smart, or catty. I'm not sure what I am. I don't really want to be delineated by what I'm not, though, but maybe that's a just the first stepping stone; a place to begin.)
Spent a good part of today outside reading. And having cold knees. I was at the grocery store at one point, and the cashier commented on how lovely a day it was. She asked me how I was going to spend it, and I answered that I was skipping class to go read in a park.
Her response?
"Oh, nice! I think on my break I'm going to go sit in my car. It'll be good to get out of here for a bit!"
I swear she said car, and not park. Then again, I'm pretty sure she was a robot. There was the distinct sound of a screw coming loose and dropping to the floor as I departed.. and a strange mechanical whirring coming from behind me as the doors swung open automatically.
[Even if you can't get over everything, or anything, stop letting it flicker in and obstructing your aim of being a functional human being. You saw him today; you were sitting at the fountain with your legs crossed and Junky open on your knee, and you swallowed your heart and you swallowed the moon and you swallowed all of the words you wanted to yell out to him. He was staring at a piece of paper- a transcript? An assignment? A love letter from her?- and never looked up. You didn't say a word and watched him walk out of the sunlight and into the library. Just swallow. Don't choke; never choke. It will ease up. It will dull with time. It will be okay.]
That's it. I must sleep before I start crying or something equally ridiculous. Goodnight, lovelies.
Solon and Cleisthenes and Pericles, oh my!
I just don't know what to do with myself.
I've been on the internet less lately, and it's good for me. Keeps me alive and real and less.. pixelated. I don't want to be an idea. I don't want to be an abstract. When I go grey sometime next month, I probably ought to stay that way. It's not like I really participate on here, anyway. (Translation: the boards intimidate me. I'm not all that funny, smart, or catty. I'm not sure what I am. I don't really want to be delineated by what I'm not, though, but maybe that's a just the first stepping stone; a place to begin.)
Spent a good part of today outside reading. And having cold knees. I was at the grocery store at one point, and the cashier commented on how lovely a day it was. She asked me how I was going to spend it, and I answered that I was skipping class to go read in a park.
Her response?
"Oh, nice! I think on my break I'm going to go sit in my car. It'll be good to get out of here for a bit!"
I swear she said car, and not park. Then again, I'm pretty sure she was a robot. There was the distinct sound of a screw coming loose and dropping to the floor as I departed.. and a strange mechanical whirring coming from behind me as the doors swung open automatically.
[Even if you can't get over everything, or anything, stop letting it flicker in and obstructing your aim of being a functional human being. You saw him today; you were sitting at the fountain with your legs crossed and Junky open on your knee, and you swallowed your heart and you swallowed the moon and you swallowed all of the words you wanted to yell out to him. He was staring at a piece of paper- a transcript? An assignment? A love letter from her?- and never looked up. You didn't say a word and watched him walk out of the sunlight and into the library. Just swallow. Don't choke; never choke. It will ease up. It will dull with time. It will be okay.]
That's it. I must sleep before I start crying or something equally ridiculous. Goodnight, lovelies.
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(I think it's really crazy that we know all the same people. and i bet you were invited to the ninjas and pirates party tonight, weren'tcha?)