uncognitive

A Plunge Into Unimaginable, Soul-Crushing Horror

One of the somewhat entertaining things about cranking out stories for Ye Olde SG Newswire, other than the fact that the modest stipend I receive from their publication allows me to make payments on the ever-mounting debt to the Brazilian mafia I've accumulated by betting on underground jai-alai matches, thus preventing several lumpy dudes speaking Portuguese from breaking my kneecaps, is that through a feature called "trackbacks" I can find out which, if any, other websites have linked to my stories.

Yes, I am both that easily entertained and that much of an attention whore.

Of course, like most things that involve clicking on random Internet links, the end results aren't always pretty.

In fact, they can lead to things that not only do you not really want to see, but that you wish you could un-see. Concepts that are so alien to any concept of a sane and rational universe that the human brain can only recoil in pure, animal terror in an effort to at least minimize the number of scars left upon the psyche of the viewer.

My story about Chuck Norris endorsing Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee was linked to from the forum of a site dedicated to fan fiction about the band Linkin Park.

This includes "slash" fiction, or for the neophyte, stories about how the dudes in Linkin Park really want to have sex with eachother.

Uh, yeah, so...uh...apparently that's my readership.