So today I got an E-mail from an old friend samantha,and she just informed me that she just had a baby. I'm real happy for her because years ago she had cervical cancer.She had thought that she would never have a child of her own. So to hear news like this really makes me happy. 
I know that this sounds weird but ,I really want children. I'm almost 24 and I talk like 'im 40. No matter how much of a bad day i've had ,the sight and sound of children smiling and laughing makes my heart melt. 
On sunday I went to the strawberry festival in Oxnard with my best friend mellisa.( not SG mellisa).
We had fun walking around, eating ,drinking and having a great time. After that ,we went to State Street in Santa Barbra and ate at Joe's cafe. I really could not ask for a more relaxing sunday. On hthe way home to L.A , she had told me that me could picture us dating.
Now, keep in mind that i've known this girl for almost 10 years.I know evrything about her ( good & bad ) and she knows the same about me. In the past ,we both have liked each other but at differant times. I could see myself ending up with her when i'm 28-30,but not now. The reason I sound like this is that we have talked in the past about being together and we know that within a matter of months of dating ,we bolth will be married to each other.
That scare's me, I'm to young,and I dont know if shes the one for me. I love this girl with all my heart ,but i'm not IN LOVE with her. I still like seeing what is out there in the world before I do anything. I fell it's better to know for sure that she's not the one for me before I commit myself to herand hurt her later. She will not let me date other people while I date her, So I need to know before I do anything.
:
WHAT DO I DO?
ryan
P.S first drama in years for me........................
I know that this sounds weird but ,I really want children. I'm almost 24 and I talk like 'im 40. No matter how much of a bad day i've had ,the sight and sound of children smiling and laughing makes my heart melt.
On sunday I went to the strawberry festival in Oxnard with my best friend mellisa.( not SG mellisa).
We had fun walking around, eating ,drinking and having a great time. After that ,we went to State Street in Santa Barbra and ate at Joe's cafe. I really could not ask for a more relaxing sunday. On hthe way home to L.A , she had told me that me could picture us dating.
Now, keep in mind that i've known this girl for almost 10 years.I know evrything about her ( good & bad ) and she knows the same about me. In the past ,we both have liked each other but at differant times. I could see myself ending up with her when i'm 28-30,but not now. The reason I sound like this is that we have talked in the past about being together and we know that within a matter of months of dating ,we bolth will be married to each other.
That scare's me, I'm to young,and I dont know if shes the one for me. I love this girl with all my heart ,but i'm not IN LOVE with her. I still like seeing what is out there in the world before I do anything. I fell it's better to know for sure that she's not the one for me before I commit myself to herand hurt her later. She will not let me date other people while I date her, So I need to know before I do anything.
:
WHAT DO I DO?
ryan
P.S first drama in years for me........................
as for you're "pickle", i totally know what you mean, i've been faced with a similar predicament as of late, someone that i'm friends with , that i know if i continue to "date" wants a serious future, and i'm SO not ready for that kinda commitment. sounds like you aren't as well, and if you tried dating her and then realized you don't wan to settle down, it could really fuck up the dynamic you 2 sound like you have now. i say stay friends , date other people, and when you feel like you're ready, date her.
Thanks for the compliment. I think!