uncaringmachine

So mayhaps you are wondering what the secret I alluded to yesterday is. What butt-crumpling secret of ass kickery I said I would reveal. Well. Prepare yourselves. Ahem. Okay. Here it is.
I once slapped Heather Locklear on the ass. Yep. It's true. You see, a few years ago, well, a lotta years ago, there was this movie made based on a DC comics character called Swamp Thing. Well, there was an awful sequel made, called Return Of The Swamp Thing, and part of it was filmed about two miles from where I live now, on my roommate Chris's grandfathers property, which has a river running through it. And my family, being close to his, was on set watching the crappiness being filmed. I was still a wee Jack, but I had enough horniness at that wee age to know a nice ass when I saw one, and far be it from me to not allow my hand to touch hiney greatness. They all just laughed at it, because hey, I was a cute kid! Heh. So
yeah, I slapped it, and the movie went straight to video hell. Coincedence? I think not.
So, was it the most incredible thing you ever read or what? It wasn't? Crap. What did you expect, me to tell you I was an astronaut or something? You bes' check yoself.