uncaringmachine

Man, these daily updates are taking their toll........so, I'm just gonna tell you a story. A tale, if you will......

Jimmy The Weak Bladdered Squirrel

Jimmy was a squirrel. He also had a weak bladder. In
those days, a squirrel had to be tough, for everywhere in
the woods there were baaad animals out to get you. So
when he found out he couldn't go ten minutes without
peeing, well, let's just say he couldn't share that with
any of his woodland friends, for fear of getting laughed at,
and showing that he wasn't so tough. The mini leather
jacket and spiked collar wouldn't be enough to make him
an imposing fello anymore. So he kept it a secret. Until
one day he was walking down by the river when Elroy
the Lion leapt out of the bushes and swallowed him
whole. The End.

Now, what was the moral of that little story kids? I have
no idea. But it passed the time didn't it? Heh. Now, I just got off the phone with a particularly nasty bill
collector, and I feel like kicking some ass. But there is
no ass to kick. What do you do when you're angry but
have no one to beat down? Any suggestions on how to
curb this aggression?
I also have some really lame pictures, just to fill up the
space. Like em or not, they are there, so look damnit.

I kinda sorta figured out how to use the panoramic
thingie on my brothers digital camera, and this looks
kinda neat. To me anyway. What, you don't think so?
Screw you!


Look. It's a shoe. Next to some water. You know you
wanna be the dirt that that shoe is stepping on.


Fozzy and friends chillin. What an eclectic group. You can't tell from the pic, but Supes has a boner.


Those, my friends, are called books. Yes, BOOKS.
I read them. And that's Leisa in the pic. I wanna make
her my love slave. Forget I said that.


Those are dvds that I own. Do you own any of those?
I like neat stuff. I even have a jar of Michael Jackson's
feces I won off of Ebay. It also started out brown and is
now white. Odd.


Again, those pesky things calling themselves books.
Websters Dictionary describes books as being
information pamphlets. What the hell is a pamphlet?
I also looked up the word dork. Whaddaya know, there
was a picture of me beside it. Stupid Webster. What, did he decide after his little sitcom about being
adopted by two goofy white people to make a
dictionary? Who does that?


Skellington. Jack. I would like a martini. Shaken, not
stirred. And an unending supply of women. Also
shaken, not stirred.


That's the Crow dude. And over there on the disco
ball is naked Picard. And you can see a couple of mini
ET's holding hands. Naked Picard is king of all he
sees. Including the Et's. Sometimes I come in here only
to find a three way going on. The Crow just stands
there horrified. Ew. I once asked Picard if he wanted
some privacy and he just said "Make it so."


And finally this lameness ends with some dude
holding a Swedish Chef and scowling. I think it's
because his hand is up the chef's butt. Not cool.


I know you like it. Feel free to send me money. Dimes.
Pennies. Heck, even wampum. I can use it all. Later!!!